(On a park bench on a clear, cold day, Friend 1 sits staring into space)
Friend 2: (Finishes a run, then sits next to Friend 1) So: any reason why you’re not at least attempting to get some exercise today? I thought one of your New Year’s resolutions was to have healthier habits or something like that.
Friend 1: Oh, it was.
Friend 2: And?
Friend 1: And then I realized: what’s the point?
Friend 2: …Better health?
Friend 1: For what?
Friend 2: …Longer life?
Friend 1: For what?
Friend 2: …Better life?
Friend 1: For what?
Friend 2: Listen, you’re getting on a morbid track here and it’s bumming me out. Are you feeling all right?
Friend 1: (Finally turns to Friend 2) No, actually: as I stare down the waterslide that is January 2 of a new year, the futility of human endeavors has hit me like a figurative and literal sledgehammer, and I have lost the drive to exercise. Or move in general.
Friend 2: With anyone else, I’d say you sound like you may have clinical depression and should speak with a mental health professional about how you’re feeling – however, since this is you, I know you’re just being overly dramatic and need to knock it off.
Friend 1: You’re right, but for some reason it’s taking a bit longer than usual to blow over, so bear with me.
Friend 2: (Stands abruptly) Nope! This is a beautiful day, the start of a new year, where you have so many blessings in your life and whatever you wish was different is in your power to change, and I refuse to waste another second of my precious time on Earth listening to your faux pontifications on how meaningless it all is when I know they’re only symptoms of your self-inflicted boredom. (Takes a candy bar out of a coat pocket and tosses it to Friend 1) Here – (Friend 1 catches the bar) have some chocolate: it seems to be your go-to for everything else, so it should help out now; I’m out. (Resumes running)
Friend 1: (Stares at the candy bar for a few moments, slowly unwraps it, takes a bite, and chews thoughtfully while looking out at the ducks paddling around in a nearby pond, the bare trees swaying gently in the wind, the other human parkgoers walking, playing, or relaxing, and the grass hibernating) Worth it.
