Spouse
1: Hey hon, we got invited to my office holiday party again this year – I can
make up some excuse for you if you don’t want to go.
Spouse
2: Why would you do something like that?
Of course I want to go!
Spouse
1: …Really?
Spouse
2: Sure! I had a great time last
year! Why do you think I wouldn’t want
to go again?
Spouse
1: Well, `cause it’s a work party where we all talk shop with our inside jokes,
and last year you complained the whole time before we went that you wouldn’t
know anybody there, and then you complained the whole time afterward that I
abandoned you to go sing karaoke all night, which – full disclosure – I intend
to do again. What changed since then?
Spouse
2: Oh, the complaining afterwards was a matter of principle – you did
abandon me in the midst of a bunch of drunken office drones, which is a recipe
for disaster. But I had a blast! I can’t wait to go this year!
Spouse
1: …Why?
Spouse
2: You’ll see.
AT THE PARTY
Guest
1: Hi guys! Glad you could make it!
Spouse
2: Are you kidding?! We wouldn’t miss
this for anything barring a death in the family!
Spouse
1: Heh-heh – you serving any drinks?
Guest
1: Only the light stuff this year; last time got a bit out of hand, if you
remember.
Spouse
1: I sadly don’t.
Spouse
2: I do, and I’m not surprised.
Guest
1: Ooh, the “Guess the number of candy canes” table is finally set up – gotta
go!
Spouse
2: Ooh, I’ve gotta go, too.
Spouse
1: Go where? We just got here!
Spouse
2: That lady by the snack table: can’t for the life of me remember her name,
but she’s one of the reasons I came back to this social awkwardness.
Spouse
1: Her? That’s my supervisor –
Spouse
2: Hi! How’ve you been?
Guest
2: Oh hey! Nice to see you again!
Spouse
2: Same here! So, how was your year?
Guest
2: Don’t get me started! Your other half
knows this past quarter was all drama, but before that – I don’t know if you
remember me telling you last time about the research trip I took to study coral
reefs?
Spouse
2: I sure do.
Guest
2: Well, I went on it again this summer, and wouldn’t you know it, while
we’re out there we got held hostage by pirates?! Actual pirates! H.R. didn’t believe me.
Spouse
2: No way! What’d you guys do?
Guest
2: What could we do, except tell those guys we were scientists and not tourists
so we had no real money on us, and it took forever to get them to let us
go `cause they had to check with their boss…
ONE HOUR LATER
Guest
2: So I am never bungee jumping off that cliff again, let me tell
you. Ah, I think they’re serving dinner
now.
Spouse
2: Aw shucks, OK. See you around!
Spouse
1: What was that all about?
Spouse
2: Weren’t you listening? She was installing
a water filtration system in that village and nearly busted her head open on
the side of that mountain! Crazy, man.
Spouse
1: I’ve worked with her for three years and never heard any of this – you two
have never met outside of these events and she’s told you her life story!
Spouse
2: Exactly. Ooh, we have to sit next to
that guy at dinner.
Spouse
1: He works in I.T.; I don’t remember his name.
Spouse
2: Hey man, good to see you again!
Guest
3: Oh hi, good to see you again, too!
Spouse
2: So how’s life been treating you?
Guest
3: Not too bad – got to go to the Oscars as a seat-filler again this year.
Spouse
2: No way! Sit next to anyone famous?
Guest
3: No, but I was only two rows away from them at any given moment. That surprisingly was topped by my trip to
the dentist the following week.
Spouse
2: No way!
TWO HOURS LATER
Guest
3: The takeaway from all that happened while I was there, though, is that I
really just need to have my hair cut more often.
Spouse
2: Ahahahaha! Wait, is dessert over
already?
Guest
3: Looks like it. I’m gonna go take a
nap before phase 2 of these shenanigans.
Nice talking to you!
Spouse
2: Same here! – Oh, there you are. Off
doing karaoke, were we?
Spouse
1: Yes. I was feeling a bit abandoned
myself this year, and you didn’t seem to notice if I stayed or went.
Spouse 2: Yeah,
I’m having the best time, I wish it could last all night, these people are
amazing!
Spouse 1: I can’t
believe you get along better with my co-workers than I do!
Spouse
2: Maybe because I actually listen to them.
Ooh, there’s that gal with the 10 kids and the three PhDs; I simply have
to know if she ever did get to do that lecture series from the space station!
