(In an apartment kitchen, Resident is on the phone while making a sandwich)
Resident: I know I’m in my 40s in a dead-end job with no actual chance of ever finding real meaning in my life, but if I want to spend my days off exactly the same way I did as a kid – lying around reading comic books and playing video games – then I see no reason to alter the formula for my joy if it’s working, don’t you agree?... Well, that’s your life now isn’t it, so stop telling me how to live mine! (Freezes on seeing a note on the refrigerator that screams “DON’T FORGET!!!”) Listen, something came up, I gotta go…. Yeah, see you at the board meeting at Corporate tomorrow, bye. (Ends the call, puts the phone on the counter, and gingerly takes the note off the refrigerator to stare at it) Hmmmm…. Wish my past self had thought to add details….
(Several hours later, Resident answers the phone in the bedroom while sitting on the floor, surrounded by a pile of laundry)
Resident: (Flinging clothes around during the conversation) Oh hey, what’s up?...Little busy right now…. Well, you know when you tie a string around your finger so that you’ll remember something but when you see the string you forgot the reason why you tied it in the first place?... I don’t mean you personally, I – forget it: bottom line is, I left a note to myself to remember something and now I forgot what it was I was supposed to remember so I’m trying to retrace my steps from the day I think I wrote it…. No, I just wrote “DON’T FORGET!!!” on it…. Yes, I know also writing the reason on the same piece of paper would’ve been the smart thing to do – would you like to go back in time and tell me that?!... You’d be snippy too if you can’t remember what you forgot to remember!... That sentence is not redundant, good-bye! (Ends the call and flings the phone into the laundry pile, then stares at the mass blankly) Great – what was I doing?!
(Several hours later, Resident answers a knock on the door after checking the peephole)
Resident: (Looking extremely disheveled) Yes? How can I help you?
Neighbor: Hi, I actually wanted to check whether you needed help.
Resident: What for?
Neighbor: Well, I keep hearing loud crashes and things being slammed through my ceiling, so I figured I’d come up here and make sure you were OK.
Resident: No you didn’t: you came up here to tell me to knock it off.
Neighbor: True, but the polite version of that. (Peers around Resident and sees belongings strewn about everywhere) Did one of those recent tornadoes pop in here?
Resident: No, Nosy, I’m having a memory crisis and I’m trying to figure out why I wrote a note to myself to remember something when I didn’t write down what that was so now I’m going through all my stuff until my brain finally wakes up and retrieves the memory it was supposed to hours ago so I can actually enjoy my day off!
Neighbor: Wow. That’s rough.
Resident: No kidding!
Neighbor: Was your note maybe next to the thing you’re supposed to remember and maybe that’s why you didn’t write it down?
Resident: I – (Clamps jaw shut and looks off to the side in remembrance, then back at Neighbor) Hold on. (Walks to the refrigerator, locates the now-blank area where the “DON’T FORGET!!!” note had been attached, and see to the right of it a photo of a sunny summer day with an inspirational quote about enjoying life to the fullest plastered all over it. Resident stares at that for several moments, then slowly walks back to Neighbor) It appears I had thought it necessary to remind myself to enjoy my day off today.
Neighbor: Oh. Guess this is one of those times where we’re our own worst enemies, eh?
Resident: To put it mildly. Now I just wish I could forget this ever happened.
