(In Manager’s office)
Manager: (Reviewing a large pile of paper with a red pencil; stops drawing strikethroughs and slowly looks up to stare into the middle distance) This really is all pointless….
Employee: (Startles Manager out of reverie by popping around the open door and giving it a cursory knock) Hey-Boss-you-got-a-minute?
Manager: (Shoves papers aside and gestures to a chair in front of the desk) Of course, have a seat – and you know you don’t need to call me “Boss,” right?
Employee: (Sits quickly) Yeah-yeah, sure-sure – listen, I was wondering if I could have the rest of the day off today, hm?
Manager: Why, are you feeling sick?
Employee: Of this place, yes.
Manager: Don’t… tell me that.
Employee: Sorry, it’s just that – you know what today is?
Manager: Wednesday.
Employee: Deeper than that.
Manager: …Burger Day in the cafeteria?
Employee: No, not – ooh, I should order one next time – no, I mean today’s the day. (Manager stares blankly) The First Day of Summer.
Manager: Oh. Right. Great. (They stare at each other some more) So what?
Employee: Sooo, this used to be one of the top days of the year when I was a kid, and now it’s nothing!
Manager: No it isn’t; it’s Burger Day.
Employee: Deliciously flavored cow parts, vegetables, and bread are poor substitutes for the utter bliss that The First Day of Summer formerly entailed, and I would like to spend the rest of it this year reclaiming that joy, please.
Manager: All right, you’ve got my interest: how so?
Employee: You know! Riding bikes throughout the countryside! Swimming in all the pools! Shooting hoops until midnight! Running down the middle of an empty residential street screaming at the top of our lungs that SCHOOL! IS! OUT!!!!
Manager: Wow. What an obnoxious child you must have been.
Employee: Probably, but who cared back then?! I didn’t!
Manager: Clearly. So, what, you want to leave here and make a public nuisance of yourself to celebrate your so-called freedom from a school you no longer have to attend, is that it?
Employee: Pretty much, yeah.
Manager: Whelp, we’ve got nothing urgent scheduled for the rest of the day, so go ahead and knock off three hours of vacation you’ll never get back this fiscal year.
Employee: (Quietly fist pumps) Yes! Thank you!
Manager: (Briefly checks cell phone) I’m almost tempted to say “Take me with you,” but you realize the downpour that started last night hasn’t stopped for a moment and isn’t predicted to until at least next month, yes?
Employee: (Stands) No matter – the spirit of eternal youth will endure in the face of all obstacles. Farewell! (Skips out the door humming the tune of “No more pencils/ No more books”)
Manager: (Stares down at the red pencil and pile of papers) I must be doing something wrong with my life.
(Outside the office building, Employee bursts through the main doors and stops to breathe in the fresh air)
Employee: Aaaaaaahhhhh…. Freedom from time. (Skips past the overhang and is immediately drenched but never falters)
(At a recreation center, Receptionist looks up from a textbook as Employee, now dressed in a bathing suit and carrying a soaking wet towel, saunters into the lobby)
Employee: Hello there – I would like to utilize the ginormous public pool on this First Day of Summer, please.
Receptionist: Pool’s 50° Fahrenheit right now and it’s continuously overflowing with the pouring rain out there.
Employee: And your point is?
Receptionist: City didn’t want to pay a lifeguard when there’s an outdoor shower going on.
Employee: Very well, then: onward to bigger and better! (Saunters out)
Receptionist: (Shakes head and returns to homework) Kids these days.
(On a residential street, a car backing down a driveway suddenly slams on the brakes as Employee, still wearing the bathing suit, splashes by on a bicycle)
Employee: Wheeeeeeee!!!!!!
Driver: (Opens the window and leans out to yell) Nuts – ! (Is drenched and sputters) Aw, nuts!
Employee: (Continuing down the street; pops a wheelie) I’m flyin’, I’m flyin’, I’m – (Skids into a puddle) oops. (Struggles to right the bike) All right, then – no hands! (Releases the handlebar, balances for two seconds, and nosedives into a hedgerow. After landing, Employee sits up while spitting out leaves) Totally worth it.
(At an outdoor basketball court, passersby carrying umbrellas briefly slow down to stare at Employee, now wearing a T-shirt and shorts, playing a one-person game of HORSE)
Employee: (Spins around several times and tries for a three-point shot; the ball bounces off the rim) Aaaaand nothing but net! They could go all the way to the championship this year, folks! (Retrieves the ball, does some fancy dribbles, and shoots again; the ball sails over the backboard and bounces off the fence) Yes! They win the pennant for the 50th season in a row! (Stands with hands on hips in satisfaction as the rain cascades all around) I could go for some ice cream right about now.
THE NEXT MORNING
(In Manager’s office)
Manager: (Reading aloud while typing a report) “And so, in conclusion, the point is, at the end of all things” – (Stops typing) Why I am saying the same thing over and over?
Employee: (Bursts into the room with a cursory knock again; Manager jumps slightly in chair) Hey-hey-hey, Boss! Mind if I come in?
Manager: (Still recovering from the jump-scare) Yeah, sure, have a seat. (Employee slides into the same chair as on the previous day) I’m surprised with your hours in the rain you don’t have all the colds for the year.
Employee: Heh-heh, that’s a myth – I feel great!
Manager: Great. So, did you enjoy your summer vacation on the company’s dime?
Employee: (With a serene smile) Well, it was only a third of a day celebrating The First Day of Summer, but yes, yes I did. Eternal Youth in Eternal Summer lives on for another day.
Manager: Fantastic: we have back-to-back meetings with Corporate for the rest of the week and I don’t think they’re happy with our performance this quarter so it’s very likely there’ll be no raises again this year.
Employee: (Serene smile freezes) …I’ll be on the boardwalk if you need me.
