Showing posts with label subconscious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label subconscious. Show all posts

Thursday, December 1, 2022

Story 468: Don’t Let People Live Rent-Free in Your Head

(Inside a human consciousness, Ego paces the area, Super-Ego sits calmly reviewing the day, and Id bounces around all over the place)

Ego: (Stops pacing for a bit) Well, we’re home now; that’s the important thing, right?

Super-Ego: Yes, safety is always priority.  As days go, I admit this one was pretty bad, but just remember it also could have been worse.

Ego: I know, you’re right.  It also could have been better, though.

Id: (Bounces over to the other two) Ice cream!  Ice cream always makes things better!

Super-Ego: No, Id!  We haven’t even had dinner yet!

Ego: (To Id) Maybe later.

Id: Yesssss!!!!! (Goes back to bouncing off the imaginary walls)

Ego: (Goes back to pacing) I just can’t stop replaying everything over and over.

Super-Ego: (Sighs) Please don’t, we’ll never get any sleep tonight.  Again.

Ego: I can’t help it – (Almost crashes into a casually seated figure who was not there before) Whoa, who the blazes are you?!

Figure 1: Oh hey, I’m the one who cut you off in traffic this morning.

Ego: Huh?

Figure 1: You know, the one who passed you on the right and insisted on getting in front of you even though you clearly had the right-of-way and tried so hard to stay ahead but I sped ahead and cut you off anyway?

Id: (Lands in front of Figure 1) I remember you!  (To the other two) Let’s get `em!

Super-Ego: Everyone just calm down –

Figure 1: (Miming driving) Wanna relive it?  I can yell out the window and take off your front fender for real this time if you’d like.

Ego: (Turns away) Not listening, not listening – (Almost crashes into Figure 2, who is standing directly in the way) Whoa! What now?!

Figure 2: Hey there, enemy coworker here – wanna keep going with that fight we started earlier today?

            Ego: Ummm….

Figure 2: I’ll even let you get in all those good comebacks you thought of hours after the fact, too.

Id: (Zooms in-between the two) Yes!  Here’s one: Your momma’s so –

Super-Ego: (Pushes aside Id) Still unhelpful!

Ego: You’re right, what am I doing?  Nothing I say here will change what really happened!

Figure 2: Or that you lost.  Would you like it if I let you win this time?

Super-Ego: No!

Ego: Well….

Super-Ego: No!  Stop fueling this!

Ego: I’m not fueling anything!

Super-Ego: Yes you are, you’re letting them still have power over us by allowing them to basically live rent-free in our head and take up all our energy!

Ego: …Would it help if we charged them rent?

Super-Ego: Argh!

Figure 1: (Steers over to the others) I’m just gonna go ahead and cut you off again while we’re on the subject.

Figure 2: We’re not!  We have a fight to re-fight and I’ve got even nastier things to say this time!

Ego: (Covers ears and closes eyes) Stop, everyone just stop!

Figure 3: (Coming in through an open window) Yoo-hoo!

(The others turn as one)

Others: Who the blazes are you?!

Figure 3: Oh, you remember me: I’m that grammar school teacher who said your final project was awful and you wouldn’t have much of a future in anything so you might as well not even bother with anything!  You kept thinking about me all day, after the near-accident and the work-fight and especially since you’re so much of a failure now – (Id pushes Figure 3 out the window) Heyyyyyy!!

Id: (Slams the window shut and turns back to the others) Don’t forget: that one was fired the following year for being all-around awful.

Ego: Great, but what about these two?  (Gestures to Figure 1 and Figure 2)

Super-Ego: Just ignore them.

Ego: Easier said than done.

Super-Ego: Then it’s eviction time!  (Waves the other two out of existence)

Figure 1 and Figure 2: Heyyyyyy!!  (Vanish)

Ego: Where’d they – ?

Super-Ego: I made an executive decision to wipe them out, and I will continue to do so every time they show up.  (Closes curtains on the window as there is a crowd of figures from throughout the day trying to get in) Now: either use those experiences to learn how to deal with situations better or move on, but they are not spending another moment here on an endlessly repeating loop, you hear me?!

Ego: (Mumbles) Yes.

Super-Ego: Good.  So, for tonight, we’re going to have dinner, go for a walk, and then end with spending hours watching our favorite show until we fall asleep even though that’s not so great for our eyes or our brain, all right?

Ego: Yeah, OK.

Id: (Zooms in) And ice cream?  With lots and lots of chocolate? 

Super-Ego: Sure – we’ve earned it.                                                                  

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Story 306: Subconscious Problem Solver


        (Inside The Mind – an Old West-style saloon, with Brain Cells as the customers and Subconscious as the bartender)
          Subconscious: (To Brain Cell at the bar) I know it’s all very thrilling and keeps the malaise at bay, but if The Host keeps this up then we’re just gonna keep losing more of you guys every time Cranium gets whacked.
            Brain Cell: But the thrill of it all!  (Whirls back to a table to rest)
           Subconscious: No one ever listens to me.  (To the rest of the room) Anyone want to hear that song from the 80s – you know, the catchy one about Australia?  (Mumbles of assent)  All righty then.  (Turns on the jukebox and plays remembered segments of the song; the rest of the room groggily hums along) There, that should be a nice distraction for a bit.  (Returns to the bar and starts straightening items that are askew)
           (A shadowy figure appears at the swinging doors and then slams them open, freezing in the entrance upon seeing all the slumped figures at the tables)
            Conscious: What on Earth…?
            Subconscious: Well, well, well, look who’s decided to check on things in the deep recesses of The Mind.  For a while there, I thought you’d forgotten we existed.
            Conscious: (Approaches the bar) Listen, you know I appreciate all you do here –
            Subconscious: Save it: what do you want?
            Conscious: I have another problem.
          Subconscious: Ugh, another problem?  You seem to be collecting them lately – maybe look into that, hm?
           Conscious: Yeah, yeah; see, the thing is, I have been trying and trying to find a way to fix this for days now, and so far – nothing.
            Subconscious: Really.
            Conscious: Yeah, and I thought, well, maybe if you worked on it like you usually do…?
            Subconscious: So I’m supposed to exhaust myself day and night trying to figure this thing out while you go off on your merry little way, singing songs and skipping stones and sleeping soundly until I call you with the answer that I had to wring out of my very soul?!
            Conscious: No-o, I’ll still be thinking about it every so often.
          Subconscious: HA!  It’s the same every time: “How’s it going?”  “Any ideas yet?”  “What’s taking so long?”  “Why haven’t you solved my self-imposed crisis yet, you lazy good-for-nothing?!”  And when I’m finally able to deliver, I don’t even get a “Thank you!”
            Conscious: Um… thank you?
            Subconscious: (Glares) Is that a question?
            Conscious: Um….
          Subconscious: Forget it – just tell me what it is.  (Conscious hands over a slip of paper that Subconscious reads) Seriously?!
            Conscious: Yeah, it’s a doozy.
            Subconscious: How do you get yourself into these messes?!
           Conscious: I honestly have no idea – maybe if I did, I wouldn’t get myself into them so much?
            Subconscious: (Tosses the paper back at Conscious) Fine, I’ll work on it, now scram.
           Conscious: (Heading towards the swinging doors) Gee, thanks Sub, I’ll owe you another one, you’re the best!  (Falls out through the doors)
            Subconscious: I’m certainly the better.

ONE WEEK LATER

            Subconscious: (To an Antibody at the bar) All right, we have room for you to stay as long as you make yourself useful.
            Antibody: Thanks awfully!  And I’ll get on that nasty virus right away!  (Dashes out the doors as Conscious arrives)
            Subconscious: Oh look, it’s the Master of the House.
            Conscious: Ha-ha, you rang?
          Subconscious: Yeah, I figured out your problem for you.  (Hands over a piece of paper that Conscious reads)
            Conscious: I can’t do that!
            Subconscious: It’s that or nothing.
            Conscious: (Tears up the paper) Unacceptable!  Come up with something else!
            Subconscious: The something else is nothing.
            Conscious: Noooo!!!  I won’t do it, I won’t!
          Subconscious: Fine, don’t – makes no difference to me, I just turn off my newsfeed when things get ugly out there.  (Switches off the TV that is mounted above the bar and tuned to the Five Senses Channel)
           Conscious: (Pouts for a while, then slumps) All right, I’ll do it since it seems I have no choice!
           Subconscious: Oh, good for you.  And you forgot something.
           Conscious: What, more no-win solutions?
           Subconscious: No, just two magic words.
           Conscious: I’m not thanking you for putting me in just as bad a position as I was when this all started!
           Subconscious: It would be best to think about any future favors you may need from me.  And stop being a brat.
            Conscious: Oh, all right – thank you.
         Subconscious: You’re welcome, now get out – you’re upsetting my customers, and they already don’t like you.
            Conscious: (To the room) But you’re all a part of me, too!
            Brain Cell: Yeah, but we like the other guy better.