WINTER
(At a table in a café)
Friend 1: (Bundled up in a snowsuit, several wool hats, and mittens over gloves, and shivering while sipping a coffee; to Friend 2) Sorry, but this was a mistake: we should’ve just had coffee at our respective homes and met by video chat or something.
Friend 2: (Has coat, hat, and gloves draped over a chair and sips a hot cocoa relaxedly) You’re the one who wanted to “break hibernation” for something that wasn’t work.
Friend 1: (Ironically burns tongue) I know, and I thought I could handle the short bursts outdoors from apartment to car to here like usual, but outdoors decided to turn the air conditioning up to the max and not break single-digit Fahrenheit. I look up at the distant sun in the crystal clear sky, and it laughs at me.
Friend 2: Heard we’re supposed to get a blizzard tomorrow.
Friend 1: I heard that as well, and chose to ignore that abomination.
Friend 2: Snow, ice, and high winds – might get two feet accumulation.
Friend 1: You sound suspiciously schadenfreudedly about that.
Friend 2: You make that up just now?
Friend 1: I took the German word for getting enjoyment out of other people’s misery, and English adverbed it.
Friend 2: Well, I’m not thrilled about the storm, I’m just finding the situation amusing because you were recently complaining that last month was too warm and the Earth needed winter.
Friend 1: The Earth does need it, but I don’t! And I’ll be happy when we hit 90° again. (Spills some of the coffee while shiveringly sipping it some more)
Friend 2: Uh-huh: give you six months.
SUMMER
(At a public pool, swimmers are frolicking while Friend 1 and Friend 2 relax on nearby deck chairs)
Friend 1: (Wearing a cropped tank top and short shorts) This was a mistake –
Friend 2: (Wearing a loose cotton T-shirt, baggy shorts, and a wide-brimmed hat) Here we go.
Friend 1: We should’ve just stayed in our respective homes and met by video chat or something.
Friend 2: You said being by the water should cool us off; I thought you were going to suggest the beach with the off-shore breeze, but this is fine, too.
Friend 1: I thought having all this water around would cool us off by osmosis – clearly, I was mistaken!
Friend 2: (Gestures to the pool) Why don’t you just jump in, then?
Friend 1: What, you mean with all the people in there?
Friend 2: You’re ridiculous.
Friend 1: It doesn’t help that outdoors decided to turn the furnace up to the max and break triple-digits Fahrenheit. I look up at the nearby sun in the hazy sky, and it melts my face off.
Friend 2: Just think, six months ago you would’ve wanted to be as overheated as you are now.
Friend 1: (Blinks at Friend 2) I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Friend 2: I’m sure you don’t. Going in for a swim now. (Removes layers for swimsuit underneath and jackknifes off the diving board into the pool)
Friend 1: (Drenched by the outer edges of the resulting splash) Oh, sweet tidal wave – how I’ve longed for ye.
WINTER
(At a table in a café)
Friend 1: (Wearing two snowsuits, barely able to move; voice is muffled by multiple hats and scarves) This was a mis-
Friend 2: Don’t even start.
SPRING
(In a public park, Friend 1 and Friend 2 are lounging in beach chairs under a shady tree)
Friend 1: (Breathes in contentedly as a warm breeze wafts through the air) Ahhhh….
Friend 2: Is this all right now, Goldilocks?
Friend 1: Hm?
Friend 2: Temp’s in the high 60s; mild to no wind; we don’t have to wear quilts or ice packs…?
Friend 1: Oh. Yeah, you’re right: this is perfect.
Friend 2: Finally.
(They sit in silence for a few moments)
Friend 1: (Starts shifting around in the chair) Too perfect.
Friend 2: Theeeeere it is.
