(On
a park trail)
Friend
1: Don’t you just love the beginning of Summer?
Friend
2: Summer doesn’t start for another month.
Friend
1: No one cares about the “official” date – this is the weekend it actually
matters.
Friend
2: You mean the weekend we’re supposed to be honoring those who served our
country?
Friend
1: That goes without saying – I’m talking about Summer! Fun in the sun; crowds everywhere there’s
water; vacation, vacation, vacation!
Friend
2: Think that’s a little dampened this year – (Sees a walker on the trail
approaching them) masks up. (Friends 1
and 2 pull up their face masks as the walker passes them; all three nod at each
other)
Friend
1: (As they both lower their masks) You’re being more of a buzzkill than usual –
something up?
Friend
2: Where to start?!
Friend
1: Besides all that – something new?
Friend
2: Well, I guess it’s just that I normally don’t care much about my birthday,
except this year is a big one and we all were going to go to Vegas –
Friend
1: Ah, Vegas.
Friend
2: – and I know there’s so much else going on right now, but I was really
looking forward to it and we were supposed to fly out tomorrow morning so we’d
be there for my birthday that night, and it would’ve been a lot of fun to see
the whole crew together again, and I’m just a little bummed out about the whole
thing.
Friend
1: Hm. Anything else?
Friend
2: No, thank goodness.
Friend
1: (Silent for a few moments) You know, I just got an idea: don’t make any
plans tomorrow.
Friend
2: I already didn’t have any now – what’s up?
Friend
1: (Evil grin) Oh, you’ll see, mwahahahaha-!
Friend
2: Knock it off.
Friend
1: Sorry. But don’t worry: you’ll love
it.
Friend
2: Why does that make me even more nervous?
THE NEXT MORNING
Friend
2: (Answering the phone at home) Hi?
Friend
1: Happy Birthday! Look outside your
front window.
Friend
2: (Peers through the blinds and sees Friend 1 holding a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
banner with balloons and waving wildly) Aw, thank you so much! I’ll be right out! (Goes outside and sees two beach chairs set
up with a cooler and a boombox within reach) You’re so sweet! You didn’t have to do all this, you know.
Friend
1: I know – sit down. (Plants the banner
and balloons on stakes in the ground and they both sit on the chairs, facing
the street) Now – (Turns on the boombox
to play really loud 80s and 90s music, opens the cooler, takes out two fruit
drinks, gives one to Friend 2, and they clink bottles) – they should be here
any minute.
Friend
2: Aw, did you arrange a birthday drive-by party for me, too?
Friend
1: Maybe. (Looks at watch) Yes, and now
they’re late.
Friend
2: How did you get anybody with less than a day’s notice?
Friend
1: They jumped at the chance to do something besides watching TV all day – ooh,
here they come!
(Both
stand as decorated, beeping cars slowly drive down the street, everyone inside
yelling out birthday wishes)
Friend
2: (Waving and crying) This is so nice!
Oh look, our Vegas crew!
Vegas
Crew: (Everyone, including the driver, is hanging out the windows)
Wooooooo!!!! Party-party-party-party – (They
continue down the street)
Friend
2: (Sees trucks and flashing lights approaching) Oh no, that fire truck can’t
get through with everyone in the way!
Friend
1: There’s no fire – that I know of – that’s for you.
Friend
2: What?! Why?!
Friend
1: I told them you were a disappointed 5-year-old.
Friend
2: But that’s a lie!
Friend
1: Not really – in a sense, aren’t we all disappointed 5-year-olds?
Friend
2: You – (The fire truck stops in front of the house) Sorry, there’s no kid, it’s
just me!
Firefighter:
Eh, we do it for everybody. Have a
lolly. (Tosses Friends 1 and 2 lollipops
as the radio crackles) Whelp, got a real emergency now – (Takes out a megaphone
and addresses the line of cars ahead) Everybody, move to your right! (The line of cars shifts to the right as the
fire truck blares its way down the street) Happy Birthdaaaaaaayyyy….
Friend
2: (Sits back on the beach chair) Wow, that was great, thank you so much for
all this!
Friend
1: (Still standing, squints in the distance and mutters) They said they’d be
here….
Friend
2: Who?
Friend
1: Aha! (Points as a tank approaches)
That.
Friend
2: (Stands suddenly) WHAT?!
(A
noisy line of the tank, motorcycles, parade floats, scooters, tractor trailers,
gas trucks, oversized load trucks, and a tricycle pass by)
Friend
2: Who are all these people?!
Friend
1: Extremely bored citizens.
Friend
2: My neighbors are gonna freak out with all this – this – (Waves arms at the
parade) – hullabaloo!
Friend
1: Are you kidding? This is the most
excitement they’ve had in months!
Neighbor:
(Standing nearby, clapping and waving at the procession) I’ll say! This is helping me not miss going to the
office every day!
Friend
2: (To Friend 1) But this is getting to be too much – I hate to say it, but are
they going to be done soon?
Friend
1: Why, got some place to be? (Turns at
the sound of drums) Yesssss! The circus
made it.
Friend
2: (Also turns) Huh?
(Clowns
juggling, acrobats tumbling, trapeze artists swinging on floats, and a marching
band pass by)
Friend
1: I know clowns aren’t your thing, but they’re part of the package –especially
since the animals have all been restored to their natural habitats which, you
know, good riddance.
Friend
2: (Sits back on the beach chair) I think I’m getting sensory overload.
Friend
1: Well, you’re in luck – you can relax and just tilt your head back, since the
jets should be passing overhead any minute now.
(Friend 2’s eyes widen) Don’t worry, this is part of their training
exercises anyway so no extra cost to the taxpayers! (The sound of jet engines is heard overhead
as Friends 1 and 2 look up) See, there they are, hiiiiii!!! (Waves at the sky) I don’t think they can see
us, but it feels rude not to.
Friend
2: (Stands) I never thought I’d say this, but I need to go lie down.
Friend
1: Hold that thought: they’re all gonna to circle the block one more time.
Vegas
Crew: (Circling the block one more time) – party-party-party-party –
Friend
2: Everyone’s been so sweet, but I just need to step away from all of it for a
minute. Or a day. (Trots quickly back into the house)
Friend
1: (Yelling towards the front door) OK, but not too long: the International
Space Station will be dipping down about a mile overhead in 13 minutes, so you’d
better rally by then! (Sits back on the
beach chair, opens another fruit drink, and slurps it)
Neighbor:
(Points to Friend 2’s chair) Mind if I sit there for a moment?
Friend
1: Sure thing – (Neighbor sits in the chair) – drink?
Neighbor:
Don’t mind if I do. (Accepts a fruit
drink and leans back while slurping)
Friend
1: (Sighs as the tank approaches again) Times like these really make you appreciate
the simple things in life.
