(In a booth at a busy restaurant)
Pal 1: (Digging into a hamburger) Heh – remember when dinners like this used to be $10 instead of $30?
Pal 2: (Digging into a salad) I’m sure several generations ago remember when they were 10ȼ instead of $10.
Pal 1: Yeah, that’s true. Still: I think it took longer for them to get to that point than it did for us to get to this point. I mean, we should be the age they are now with these prices, instead of, you know, our actual age now. I wanted at least another decade of decelerated inflation.
Pal 2: Well, you know: things happen.
Pal 1: They sure do. (Adds a lot of ketchup to the fries on the side)
(The two eat in silence for a bit)
Pal 2: (After drinking the free water) Speaking of inflation, I’m glad there’s still bargain night at the movie theater, or at this rate I’d never go.
Pal 1: Yeah, I’m always working on those nights, so, oh well.
Pal 2: Ugh.
Pal 1: I still go, though, for something I really wanna see. Like, I’m going to go see the ----------- movie Saturday morning, and that’ll be my movie for the year.
Pal 2: Oh cool, I’m actually going to see that this week, on the bargain night; it looks good.
Pal 1: It looks amazing. I’ve been waiting years for it to come out, and now it finally is, and all I’ve gotta say is, they’d better not mess it up. (Adds more ketchup in emphasis)
Pal 2: I’m sure it’ll be fine; it’s the same people who did the show, right?
Pal 1: (Stops mid-ketchup squeeze and narrows eyes suspiciously at Pal 2) Yeah…?
Pal 2: Yeah, so: there you go. (Snags a crouton) Wonder what the plot’s gonna be? I’ve noticed the trailers’ve been a bit hush-hush about the whole thing.
Pal 1: (Gently sets down the ketchup bottle) Are you telling me, that you’re going to see the ----------- movie, and you’ve never actually seen the ----------- show?!
Pal 2: Why, am I supposed to?
Pal 1: (Sits back against the booth, flabbergasted) I don’t believe what I’m hearing! The show’s been around for 10 seasons, and you’ve never come across a single episode, even by accident?!
Pal 2: (Shrugs) Just never got around to it.
Pal 1: And now you want to watch an entire movie about it?!
Pal 2: Well, yeah, I figured they’d want as big an audience as possible so they’ll not have much insider information stuff so as to appeal to viewers like me.
Pal 1: Ha! You have no idea what you’re getting into!
(Pal 3 slides into the booth next to Pal 1)
Pal 3: Hey, sorry I’m late, glad you started without me – what’d I miss?
Pal 1: (Points to Pal 2 while the latter is in mid-bite) This one here’s going to see the ------------ movie without having seen the ------------ show! At! All!
Pal 3: (To Pal 2) Nah, you can’t do that – you have no idea what you’re getting into.
Pal 1: That’s what I said!
Pal 2: (Finishing the bite) Oh come on, it can’t be that hard to figure out – I’ll read a synopsis or something.
Pal 1: A mere synopsis isn’t going to cut it! You need to experience it FROM THE VERY BEGINNING to even have the remotest chance of comprehending all the lore!
Pal 2: “The lore”?
Pal 1: Exactly! The show’s universe, all its characters, their backstories, their motivations, their feelings, how they’re all related to each other, the individual adventures that could’ve filled 20 lifetimes – everything!
Pal 3: (Nodding in agreement) Lore is key.
Pal 2: I don’t know, it sounds like it’ll take a lot of time –
Pal 1: Well then, make the time! The rest of us didn’t spend years of loyal viewing and show supporting and fanfiction writing just for someone like you to breeze on in and casually “watch the movie” like it’s some superhero flick!
Pal 3: Superhero flicks have a lot of lore, too.
Pal 1: I stand corrected.
(Server appears at their table)
Server: (To Pal 3) Hi, ready to order?
Pal 3: Hi, yeah, sorry to be so late, so I’ll just have the medium rare steak special with fries and string beans and house dressing for the salad with a glass of soda and then the brownie ice cream sundae for dessert, please.
Server: (Writing frantically) `K, coming right up. (Leaves while still writing)
Pal 3: I love eating here.
Pal 1: Yeah, great, so do we; as I was saying: the lore!
Pal 2: Enough with the lore! Fine, I’ll try to cram in watching the entire show before I see the movie, happy?
Pal 1: Only if you see all 120 episodes beforehand.
Pal 2: What?!
Pal 3: (Nudges Pal 1) Don’t forget the prequel series.
Pal 1: Oh, right, I did forget, how could I?
Pal 2: The prequel what?!
Pal 3: Series. Got released about halfway through the man series, but you have to watch both of them in the order they aired or else stuff that happens later won’t make any sense.
Pal 1: When did that come out, after Season 4?
Pal 3: Season 5. But it really should’ve come out after Season 4, in my opinion. (To Pal 2) You’ll get it when you reach that episode – it’s pivotal.
Pal 2: (Has been typing notes into a phone) OK, so, after Season 5 of ---------, watch – (Looks back up at Pal 1 and Pal 3) wait, what’s this other show called?
Pa1 1 and Pal 3: ---- -- ----- ----.
Pal 2: (Typing) Oh… kay… and how many seasons is that?
Pal 1: Only three.
Pal 2: (Typing) OK….
Pal 3: Twenty-five episodes each season.
Pal 1: Both shows.
Pal 2: (Pauses typing) Oh. How long are the episodes in each show, an hour?
Pal 3: Oh no: 20-ish minutes, tops.
Pal 2: (Starts typing again) Good, much more doable.
Pal 1: But, if you have the streaming package with commercials, that bumps them up to half an hour.
Pal 3: Yeah, those add up. And there were the inter-season specials, those were about 45 minutes, right?
Pal 1: Maybe an hour, hour-and-a-half.
Pal 3: No more than two hours, tops.
Pal 2: (Finishes typing) OK, got it: two shows, average of half-hour episodes, combination of 13 seasons with 25 episodes each season, plus specials, so if I watch nothing else every night for three hours a night starting now, I should finish everything while the movie’s still in the theaters.
Pal 3: (Taking beverage glass and several plates from Server) Thank – you! (Turns to Pal 2 as Server leaves) And don’t forget the tie-in anime.
Pal 2: (Drops the phone onto the table) The WHAT?!
Pal 1: Eh, I really don’t think that’s necessary.
Pal 3: (Starting on the cornbread) Oh really? You think the Blue Cloud Redemption Arc that directly impacts Season 7 of ----------- and Season 3 of ---- -- ------ ---- isn’t necessary? OK.
Pal 1: Wow. I can’t believe I forgot about that, too.
Pal 3: Maybe you’re the one who should be watching these shows now.
Pal 2: (Sighs and picks up the phone to start typing notes again) You know, for something that’s supposed to be entertaining and relaxing and fun, this feels suspiciously like homework.
Pal 1: Well, we never really leave school behind, do we.
TWO MONTHS LATER
(At the same restaurant, Pal 1, Pal 2, and Pal 3 meet up for dinner again in another booth)
Pal 1: (While sliding into the booth; to Pal 2) So! Did you watch all the shows we told you to before seeing the ------------ movie?
Pal 2: (With bags under eyes and clenched jaw) Yes.
Pal 1: …And?
Pal 2: And it was exactly what I said it would be! Instead of hundreds of episodes and months of my life, I could have watched absolutely nothing of anything remotely related to the franchise and I still would’ve been able to follow the plot! In fact, watching all that other stuff made me disappointed that hardly any of it was mentioned in the movie!
Pal 3: (Ripping apart a dinner roll from a basket on the table) Got a point there.
Pal 1: But – but – the lore!
Pal 2: If I hear that word one more time, I will never want to sit through another show ever again.
Pal 3: So, in spite of all that: did you enjoy the movie?
Pal 2: Eh – I thought the shows were better.
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