Story 381: Bonding With a Stranger Over Pop Culture

 (At an anniversary dinner in a banquet hall, two couples and two singles are seated at that table during the lull between everyone arriving and the pasta course)

Guest 1: (To the others at the table) So, how do you all know the guests of honor?  We – (Gestures to Guest 2) used to play golf and mah-jongg with them, but once something major like knee surgery or moving out-of-state happens, these things just kind of drop off on their own, you know?

Guest 2: Yeah, that’s Life: things just happen.  Or stop happening, in this case.

Guest 3: Well, I used to work with both of them way back when, and then they got promoted and I got fired – the two events were unrelated, but they still invite me to all their stuff out of guilt for some reason.  I haven’t actually spoken to them outside of these things for over 20 years.

Guest 4: And I keep getting invited because we – (Gestures to Guest 3) were married; we divorced ages ago, but they don’t need to know that.

Guest 3: Least I could do: a free meal’s a free meal.

Guest 1: (To Guest 5 and Guest 6) And what about you two?

Guest 5: Distant cousin who didn’t make the cut for one of the family tables.

Guest 6: I met them once at my boss’s barbecue – I don’t even know how they got my address.

Guest 1: Oh.  Welcome.  (Servers deliver the pasta) Oh thank goodness – dig in!

(They all focus on the food and make it last as long as possible; the couples begin talking within their own units, while the singles continue on in silence.  Guest 5 cuts the pasta into miniscule pieces, and Guest 6 soon turns the old stand-by of playing on a cell phone)

Guest 6: (Scrolling through an article, grumbling) Aw no, someone posted spoilers already?  My night’s ruined.

Guest 5: (Maximizing the sauce) Everything OK?

Guest 6: (Distracted) Oh – yeah – just some show I watch; new episode’s on tonight and people already are posting spoilers.  It’s not even over yet; there’s still 20 minutes left.

Guest 5: Heh, is that Sword Slash?

Guest 6: (Perks up) Why, yes it is – you watch it?

Guest 5: Every week.  I’m gonna catch it after I get home from this, so please don’t tell me what everyone’s posting.

Guest 6: (Pockets the phone) Wouldn’t dream of it.  So, what do you think of the whole trapped-in-the-mountain storyline this season?

Guest 5: I’m on the fence about that: it’s an interesting change of pace, shake things up for the series –

Guest 6: Definitely after last season.

Guest 5: Oh yeah – those trolls?  The castle burning down for no good reason? The out-of-nowhere love triangle that nobody asked for?

Guest 6: Ugh, I hate love triangles.  Two people being mushy are bad enough and now we’ve got a third, adding their angst and drama?  Barf.

Guest 5: I know, it’s totally manufactured conflict and pads the runtime; take it out and we’d never miss it…. What was I saying earlier?

Guest 6: They’re all trapped in the mountain now.

Guest 5: Right – yes, good shake-up for the series, but after five episodes it’s getting a bit old, don’t you think?

Guest 6: Oh yeah, but they did have that whole issue with location filming so I can see why they had to keep the sets limited.

Guest 5: True, but still: how long can they all wander around the same bunch of tunnels and keep us interested?  I’m starting to feel the apathy creeping back in, and I used to be obsessed with this show two years ago.

Guest 6: Ah yes, The Golden Age when ---- ---- was still in the cast.  Too bad that one had to go off and make movies and be even more successful and whatever.

Guest 5: Speaking of, did you see their new movie?

Guest 6: (Servers deliver the main course, and Guest 5 and Guest 6 eat while talking) I did.  Not a fan.

Guest 5: Really?  I liked it, but it had its flaws.

Guest 6: I never thought I would use this term in my life, but I found the whole thing a bit bombastic.

Guest 5: Ouch.  I guess you could call it that.

Guest 6: Don’t get me wrong: acting was decent, writing was… passable, but the directing?  So.  Much.  Everything!

Guest 5: Oh yeah, my face was stuck in a cringe for the last hour, and I was sitting next to one of the speakers in the theater so that didn’t help.  Did they really need to show that many supernovas?  And I’m pretty sure there’s no sound in space, so why did we have to hear them all go “boom”?

Guest 6: I know.  The soundtrack was phenomenal, though; I actually bought it and it’s great to hear the music when it’s not overlaid by all the explosions and screams.

Guest 5: Ooh, I’ll have to check that out, thanks!

Guest 6: Sure.  I was surprised ---- did a song on it, during that one quiet scene by the neutron star.

Guest 5:  Really?  That was ----?  I love all their stuff, how could I’ve missed it?!

Guest 6: Easy to do: post-production added electromagnetic waves from stars over the vocals, I guess to emphasize how much in space we all were.  The soundtrack has just the vocals and the music, which usually bothers me when it’s changed from what was in the movie but in this case was an improvement.

Guest 5: I’ll have to get that album, then.  Did you get ----’s new one yet?

Guest 6: Yes, but it doesn’t have the movie song on it `cause of the rights or something.

Guest 5: Bummer; still, don’t you think the album’s amazing?

Guest 6: Sure do – listen to it all the time.  (Takes out the phone again)  Wanna listen to some of it now?

Guest 5: YES.

Guest 1: (Stands with Guests 2, 3, and 4) We’re all going to the buffet table for dessert – you two want some?

Guest 5: Nah, I’m good, thanks.

Guest 6: Yeah, we’re working on something here right now.  (Both lean closer to the phone to listen to the music)

Guest 1: (Mutters while heading to dessert) Weirdos.

(Later that night, Guest 5 greets parents while entering the house)

Guest 5: Hi!  I’m home!

Parent 1: Have a good time?  Or at least some good food?

Guest 5: Both!  I was at a table with a bunch of strangers, but I wound up talking to the one next to me about movies, and shows, and music – we pretty much liked all the same things, it was great!

Parent 2: How nice!  What was their name?

Guest 5: …Name?

Story 254: Why Is There a Soundtrack?

            The radiant sunset surrounded the couple with shades of red, purple, and pink as the two strolled through the cozy park, hand-in-hand.  The moment when he was going to pop the question was fast approaching: he knew it, she knew it, the dog walkers knew it.  The violins swelled in anticipation as he suddenly stopped, grabbing both her hands in his.

            “Beloved?” he opened.

            “Yes, my angel?” she replied; several stirring flutes got in on the action.

          “We have known each other for so long – ” the violins became more agitated – “I simply cannot face the rest of my life without you by my side – ” an expectant drumroll began, with cymbals winding up for the climax – “and what on Earth is that orchestra doing here?!”

          “Oh them,” she lightly laughed.  “They follow me on special occasions: they’re the soundtrack to my life.”  The cymbals finally crashed.  “Not yet, guys – maybe start again when we kiss to seal the deal?” she asked; the music abruptly cut off.  To her angel, she smiled: “You were saying?”

            “Ummmm….”

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *         

            The two spies snuck through the darkened warehouse and spoke to each other in whispers.

            “I’ll take the left, you take the right,” Spy 1 said.

            “Why do I always have to take the right?” Spy 2 almost whined.

            “Because right now I’m on the left, right?”

            “What?”

            A menacing bass line began.

            “So, you go that way,” Spy 1 gestured with a gun, “and I’ll go this way.  Ri – OK?”

            “Wait a minute, what’s that noise?”

            A synthesizer ratcheted up the thrill factor.

            “It’s underscoring the danger of our actions, now c’mon!”  Spy 1 gestured with the gun again.

          “Not so fast,” Spy 2 said, head tilting to listen.  “I know those chords.  This is the Villain Theme playing right now.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            “That’s the music played every time the villain shows up.”

            “Which makes perfect sense because that’s the reason why we’re here!  To catch the villain!”

           “Yes… or….”  Spy 2 pointed a gun at Spy 1.  “Perhaps the True Villain has been beside me ALL ALONG.”

            <DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUN!>

            Spy 1 pointed the gun at Spy 2.  “Now you’re just being stupid and tiresome.  <Gasp> Maybe this music’s playing because you’ve been the True Villain ALL ALONG!”

            “Nonsense – I’m not the villain.”

            “Ha!  Prove it!”

            “I’d know it if I was, wouldn’t I.”

            “You make a good point.”

            The True Villain jumped out from behind a pillar, accompanied by a crescendo.

         “Aha, you fools!”  The Villain laughed evilly.  “The music was signaling my approach, and now I have the drop on both of you!”

            “Blast,” Spy 1 said as the two raised their hands in surrender.  “We sure misread those cues.”

            “Yes, I must say they were deliberately confusing to the casual listener,” Spy 2 agreed.

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *         

            In the haunted house, the reckless teenagers paused on the third floor to regroup; they spoke with flashlights shining up on their faces due to the requisite power outage during the obligatory thunderstorm.

            “I say we head to the basement and wait it out there,” Teen 1 said.

           “I say we head to the attic, solve the mystery, and set the angry ghost’s soul to rest,” Teen 2 said.

            “I say we head to the front door and walk out of it,” Teen 3 said.

            “Hold up a sec!” Teen 4 hysterically shouted.

            “What?  We were having a nice rational discussion up until now,” Teen 1 said.

         Teen 4 looked around in terror before screechily whispering: “Where’s our supporting music?!”

            The others pondered this.

            “You’re right, it’s been suspiciously not playing for ages,” Teen 2 said.

            “That means when it does play, it’ll be a doozy,” Teen 1 agreed.

           “I’m going to climb down this drainpipe here,” Teen 3 said, opening a window.  “You’re all welcome to join me whenever you’d like.”

            The other three froze in place.

            “Should we run for it?” Teen 4 asked.

            “Maybe if we never move ever again from this spot, the ghost’ll forget about us and leave us alone,” Teen 2 said.

            “Or we could – ” Teen 1 started but was cut off by jump-scare music, which was followed by the jump scare of the tangible ghost getting in their faces.

            With everyone screaming, the music was no longer necessary.

            From outside the house, Teen 3 jumped onto the ground from the drainpipe, ran to the car, got inside, and started it.  The horror music quietly began to swell.

            Teen 3 turned to face the music: “Don’t even think about it.”

            The music stopped as Teen 3 drove off into the night.

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *         

            In an office, Manager approached Employee.

            “So,” Manager said, “we’ve got a huge project coming up, with lots of ways it can go wrong.”

            “All right,” Employee said, then pressed a button on a CD player; light-hearted music played through the speakers.

            “What are you doing?” Manager asked.

        “Scoring our new adventure,” Employee said.  “Judging by your statement, I trust that shenanigans will ensue?”

            “Not really – this is a very serious project for one of our top clients.  If it doesn’t go right, we could be – ” Manager leaned in slightly to whisper – “F-I-R-E-D.”

            “All right.”  Employee pressed a few different buttons; serious-sounding music then played.  “So this situation is dramatic, then.”

            “Well, yeah!  And I even feel a little uncomfortable taking it on, to tell you the truth; this is the client who is a bit – ” whispered again – “S-H-A-D-Y.”

            “Got ya.”  Employee hit several more buttons; hints of mystery and danger were signified by the presence of a bassoon.  “How’s this one?”

            “Perfect.”