(In an office, Coworker 2 is on the phone and typing on a computer)
Coworker 2: Uh-huh…. Listen, I’m actually in the middle of sending something else out; could you call me back in about 10 minutes and go into more detail then?... You know you’re the most important person in my work life, but this other thing is a little time-sensitive…. Frankly, I’m not so sure I should be the one sending that out since you’re, you know, the manager – (Is cut off by Coworker 1 dropping a heavy bag of candy directly onto Coworker 2’s workspace) Ah!
Coworker 1: Bad time?
Coworker 2: No – (To the screaming voice on the phone) Hi, something-just-came-up-gotta-go-bye. (Hangs up) What’s all this?
Coworker 1: I had a grand total of one trick-or-treater this year: 195 pieces of candy remain.
Coworker 2: That stinks – and you can’t even return the bag.
Coworker 1: No kidding. So.
Coworker 2: Soooo…?
Coworker 1: Take some.
Coworker 2: (Pats stomach) I would, but I overdid it this year. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to face Thanksgiving.
Coworker 1: The candy doesn’t expire until next Halloween.
Coworker 2: Ew. And I don’t even know if I’ll be able to face next Halloween, either. (Stares at the bag and turns slightly green) I was really bad.
Coworker 1: (Grabs the bag and stalks off) Fine – no help whatsoever!
Coworker 2: (Stares at the ringing phone) Story of my life, apparently.
(Coworker 1 heads to another area of the office and drops the bag onto Coworker 3’s workspace)
Coworker 1: Here. Take some.
Coworker 3: Ooh, thanks, but I started my diet yesterday.
Coworker 1: The one you quit by every Thanksgiving?
Coworker 3: The very same. Means I get in at least three weeks of good behavior a year.
Coworker 1: (Picks up the bag and drops it onto Coworker 4’s workspace) Here. Take some.
Coworker 4: You know I have diabetes.
Coworker 1: I thought you still need emergency candy just in case?
Coworker 4: Yeah, like one piece!
Coworker 1: (Tilts the bag towards Coworker 4) I don’t mind – every bit helps the cause.
Coworker 4: (Pushes the bag away) Sorry for my lack of support.
(Coworker 1 grabs the bag and stalks off to the break room, grabs a large bowl from a cabinet, pours the candy into that, heads to the front of the office, and firmly sets the bowl on the receptionist’s counter)
Receptionist: Uh, H.R. actually said we can’t have stuff like this out anymore.
Coworker 1: Since when?!
Receptionist: Since two years ago. Trying to keep our health insurance costs down.
Coworker 1: Ugh, health! First innocent tobacco, now innocent sugar! (Grabs the bowl)
Receptionist: (Reaches out) Wait, can I take one?
Coworker 1: Please do. (Begins dumping the bowl’s contents onto the counter)
Receptionist: Hey-hey-hey! One piece, not one bowl! (Starts tossing pieces back into the bowl)
Coworker 1: (Begins dumping the bowl’s contents onto the counter again) But surely your heart is telling you to take more, and more, and –
Receptionist: (Pushes a panic button) H.R.! I’m being bombarded with unwanted saccharine advances!
(Coworker 1 looks up, sees two H.R. guards advancing, grabs the remaining loose candy, and runs away with the bowl)
(Slowly walking down a residential street while carrying the candy in the bag again, Coworker 1 stops at a random house and rings the doorbell)
Resident: (Opens the door and smiles) Well, hello there! And what are we supposed to be dressed up as?
Coworker 1: The Dregs of Corporate America. (Holds up the bag) Treat.
Resident: Why thank you, little office worker! (Takes a piece of candy) You stay safe out there now, OK? Bye-bye! (Closes the door)
Coworker 1: (Smiles down at the bag) Sweet. At this rate, I’ll be done by New Year’s.
