(Co-Worker 1 and
Co-Worker 2 are at their desks, side-by-side in a partitioned-off area of the
main office)
Co-Worker 1:
(Suddenly stops typing and stares off into space; to Co-Worker 2) You ever
wonder, what’s the point of anything?
Co-Worker 2:
(Stops typing and stares at Co-Worker 1) No, and I wish you wouldn’t either.
Co-Worker 1:
(Looks up through the partition’s window) Uh-oh, Big Boss is headed this way.
Co-Worker 2:
Great, and I’m not even halfway through my report that was due… (Looks at
watch) yesterday.
Co-Worker 1: You
certainly let that deadline get away from you.
(Manager enters
from around the corner of the partition and immediately begins talking)
Manager: So, I
suddenly realized what modern society’s problem is.
(Co-Workers 1
and 2 stare at Manager, then at each other, then back at Manager)
Co-Worker 1: Oh?
Manager: Yeah,
it all boils down to one simple problem: nobody goes outside and plays anymore!
(Co-Workers 1
and 2 stare at Manager, then at each other, then back at Manager)
Co-Worker 2: Oh?
Manager: (Grabs
a chair, rolls it over to them, and turns it backwards to sit) I mean, kids
today –
Co-Worker 1: Oh,
here we go.
Manager: Hear me
out: kids today are all sitting in front of screens playing video games,
watching TV, wandering all over unsavory places on the Internet, and typing
entire conversations to strangers, they’ve forgotten how to walk and talk!
Co-Worker 1: While
I agree that that’s the overall trend, I do see plenty of kids playing
sports, riding bikes, causing mischief on the roads, and rampaging through playgrounds,
so I must deem your argument fallacious.
Co-Worker 2:
(Whips out a notebook and begins scribbling) Thanks for the new word – I’m
going to try using it in a sentence today.
Co-Worker 1: Not
too much, or it’ll lose its power.
Manager: All
right, forget the kids; I mean, look at you two now! (The two look down at themselves) Sitting
there in front of your computers all day long, when there’s a whole big world
of life out there – (Gestures randomly out there) begging to be lived!
Co-Worker 1:
Yeah, but we’re… working…? Am I missing
something?
Manager: You
see! Always an excuse!
Co-Worker 1:
What?!
Co-Worker 2:
Aren’t we being paid to sit in front of computers all day long? Isn’t that what the company wants from us?
Manager: Well,
it’s time you two took a break. (Stands
to reach the power cord where both computers are connected and rips the plug
out of the wall)
Co-Worker 1:
(Gasps in horror at the now-blank screen) A cold shut-down!
Co-Worker 2:
(Also gasps in horror at the now-blank screen) My overdue report! And I haven’t hit “Save” in 20 minutes, like
a fool!
Manager: (Twirls
the cord) You can thank me later.
Co-Worker 2: Can
I actually remind you of this later when you’re yelling at me for not
submitting this until next week?
Manager: (Laughs
maniacally) Silly billy. (Grabs the
backs of their chairs and wheels them out of their section of the office) And
away we go!
Co-Worker 2: (To
Co-Worker 1) Should we run for it?
Co-Worker 1: Nah
– I kind of want to see where this is going.
(Manager wheels
them to the elevator, wheels them out when they arrive at the ground floor,
wheels them through the lobby and out the front door as everyone else there watches
uncomprehendingly, wheels them to the park next door, and collapses when they
arrive at a playground filled with toddlers and their adult guardians)
Manager: (Lying on
the soft hard-top, panting and pointing at the playground) All right – there it
is – go play. (Lets hand fall)
(Co-Workers 1
and 2, the toddlers, and the guardians all stare at each other for a few
moments, then Co-Workers 1 and 2 simultaneously stand, life Manager up by the
arms, and set the body on one of the office chairs. Co-Worker 1 wheels that chair off the
playground while Co-Worker 2 follows, dragging the other chair behind)
Co-Worker 1: (Stopping
the group on a paved trail) You know, we appreciate the effort and all, but I
don’t think we can just go… play over there, with all of… them.
Manager: (Recovered,
but still seated) Whyever not? There’s
not sign saying that! There’s no law!
Co-Worker 2: I
think there might be.
Manager:
Ridiculous! Everyone’s always complaining
how they miss their childhood when they played all the time, and here I am,
literally throwing you two into play time, and you’re just standing
there like a bunch of old people!
Hiking
Able-Bodied Senior Citizen: Hey!
Manager: People
who let themselves get old!
Co-Worker 2: I
see what you’re saying, and that kind of play was fun when we were kids, but
now, well….
Co-Worker 1: Now
we just don’t wanna.
Co-Worker 2:
Exactly. Somewhere through the years, it
just stopped being fun.
Co-Worker 1: And
I hate to say it, but right now I’m exhausted just looking at them.
Manager: (Stands
in a fury) What are you two, 30 going on 300?
Co-Worker 2: You’re
actually not supposed to ask us our age –
Manager:
OLD! You let yourselves get old! Well my late-middle-aged self refuses to, do
you hear me?! (Runs to an unoccupied
sandbox, dives in, and uses a shovel to fill a bucket while weeping)
Co-Worker 1: You
think the office’ll miss us if we hang out here a little while longer to keep
an eye on things?
Co-Worker 2: I think
we have a moral obligation to ensure our boss’s physical and mental well-being,
and we’re only doing our duty in staying out here in this fresh air, green
grass, shady trees – (Co-Workers 1’s and 2’s eyes begin closing) humming
insects, sleepy breeze – ooh, look, there’s a nice comfy bench right over
there, just waiting for us to take a nap on it!
Co-Worker
1: (As they both trot over to the bench) Sweet.
My legs are killing me.
No comments:
Post a Comment