(Scene of a residential suburban street: Pedestrian 1 is walking down the right side of the road in the direction of traffic)
Announcer: (Voiceover) Has this ever happened to you?
(A car turns the corner, stops suddenly behind Pedestrian 1, and blares the horn until the latter skitters onto the sidewalk)
Announcer: (V.O.) You’re walking along, minding your own business, when some car forces you off the very road you have just as much right to be on as they do? (Pedestrian 1 and Driver shake fists at each other)
(Scene cuts to a strip mall parking lot: Pedestrian 2 walks across parking spots parallel to a sidewalk that would have led to the same destination; cars screech to a stop in the lanes or while backing out of spaces; drivers yell unintelligible abuse out of their windows)
Announcer: (V.O.) How much harassment must be endured before we say, “Enough is enough”?
(Scene cuts to a busy highway: Announcer is standing on a grassy median in the middle of the two-way traffic; horns occasionally blare as the cars zoom by) As a pedestrian, you know that you have the right of way. But did you know that you have the right of way any time, any place, any situation? So few of us seem to be aware that we can walk absolutely wherever we want, whenever we want; Big Automotive, however, takes any chance it can get to force us off of what it considers to be “its” roads. Excuse me, but who built those roads? Pedestrians! What came before the wheel? Feet! (Starts walking across lanes of traffic while still addressing the camera; cars slam to a stop and nearly crash into each other, horns and voices now screaming) So, I’m asking you to join me today, fellow pedestrians, to literally take back our streets! (Trots the last few feet to the other side of the highway, narrowly missing a front fender)
(Scene cuts to a residential development: a line of cars slowly crawls as Pedestrians 3 and 4 stroll down the middle of the street)
Announcer: (V.O.) Don’t let these bully cars herd us onto so-called “safe” walkways just so we can be out of their way! We’re not cattle! (Pedestrians 3 and 4 stop walking and begin to chat animatedly with each other, still in the middle of the street; the cars turn off their engines)
(Scene cuts to a metropolitan city street: bumper-to-bumper traffic barely moves as pedestrians walk all over six car lanes and two bike lanes)
Announcer: (V.O.) Cities are made for human beings, not buses and taxis! They should get out of our way!
(Scene cuts to the same residential suburban street shown at the beginning: Pedestrian 1 is walking down the right side of the road in the direction of traffic when a car turns the corner and stops suddenly behind the former; this time, Pedestrian 1 stares down the car until the latter reverses onto the previous street and waits as Pedestrian 1 now skips diagonally back and forth across the road)
(Scene cuts to an airport: Announcer stands smack dab in the middle of the runway as planes take off and land overhead)
Announcer: So, stand up for yourselves! Walk where you please! Step aside and wait for no machine! This is a pedestrian’s world – automobiles are just living in it! And always remember: sidewalks are for losers! Never yield! Never – (Suddenly holds a hand up to an earpiece and listens) Yeah, we’re almost wrapped, what’s up?... What do you mean, the title actually was “Sidewalks Are Not for Losers”?!... Well, that would’ve been nice to know before I wrote and filmed the whole thing, now wouldn’t it?!
