“So, I got laid off from work this week.”
Select From The Responses Below:
A. “Well, that stinks.”
B. “Their loss – you can do so much better.”
C. “Didn’t you hate that job anyway?”
D. “Oh.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, things were getting really bad, what with the hostile takeover and the vanishing clients and the vanishing money and everyone turning on everyone else and – ” [Five minutes later] “and you agree I’m right, right?”
A. Nod
B. “Mm-hm.”
C. “Yeah.”
D. All of the above
[Nodding] “Mm-hm, yeah.”
“Right! I knew you’d understand.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“Here, let me introduce you to my new better half!”
A. “Oh, you actually exist?”
B. “Wow, you look a lot like the last better half.”
C. “Run now, before it’s too late!”
D. “Hello.”
“Hello.”
“Amazing! I bet you two are going to get along famously!”
“I’m never quite
sure what that means.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“All right, bestie, wanna come with me to my aunt-in-law’s cousin’s toddler’s dance recital? It’ll be over two hours long, and no one’s allowed to leave before the end.”
A. “Not really.”
B. “Do I have to?”
C. “Must you inflict your family on me?”
D. “Pass.”
E. “Let me get back to you on that.”
F. “I’m allergic to dance.”
G. “Oh.”
“Do I have to?”
“What?”
“I mean: Oh.”
“What?”
“I mean: Let me get back to you on that.”
“So that means ‘No’, right?”
“…Pass.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“I’ve never been this upset in my entire life! Look at my hands: I am literally trembling with rage! I don’t know – what would you do in my situation?”
A. “Get revenge.”
B. “Don’t care.”
C. “It could always be worse.”
D. Say nothing and nod
[Nods]
“It’s all right, you can be honest with me: there are no wrong answers here.”
JEOPARDY!!!! JEOPARDY!!!!
A. SAY NOTHING AND NOD!
B. SAY NOTHING AND NOD!
C. SAY NOTHING AND NOD!
D. SAY NOTHING AND NOD!
[Nods]
“I know, I’m probably being overdramatic, but the whole thing really grinds my gears, know-what-I-mean?”
A. NOD!
B. NOD!
C. NOD!
D. NOD!
[Nods]
“Exactly! You’re such a great listener.”