“Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh….”
“What are you all stretched out smugly on the couch for?”
“Oh, just reveling in the fact that for the first time in more than 10 years, I get Labor Day off from work. The actual day, mind you – not some pity day later in the week when fall has unofficially started, no: the actual day. The last day of lifeguarded pools and beaches is mine, all mine, mwahahahahaha!”
“We already agreed to host Labor Day barbecue at our house this year.”
“…Drat.”
* * * * * * * * * * *
“You know, it’s a real bummer that no matter what the holiday, some of us still have to clock in like it’s a regular ol’ work day. I made my peace years ago with losing Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Memorial Day, Juneteenth, Fourth of July, my birthday, my partner’s birthday, my children’s birthdays, and World Chocolate Day, but losing Labor Day on top of all those especially sticks in my craw for some reason. I think it’s the irony of the whole situation, that even on a day specifically designated to give laborers a break, some of us still have to work regardless, or else life as we know it falls apart. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being bitter about it.”
“Mm-hmm: will you be closing up the incision on this patient now, Doctor, or would you like me to do it?”
“Nah, I got
it. Livin’ the dream, am-I-right?!”
* * * * * * * * * * *
“I can’t believe I have to spend Labor Day helping people with trying on every piece of clothing we have in the store, and then cleaning up the disgusting messes they leave behind that somehow are more than they brought in with them, plus trying to set up autumn and Halloween displays in-between policing the dressing rooms and the even-filthier restrooms, when I could be relaxing on a deck chair next to an inground pool while barbecue sizzles behind me and impish children roughhouse around me. It’s just not fair.”
“I thought you weren’t invited to any barbecues this year – that’s why you volunteered to work on Labor Day in the first place?”
“It’s the
principle of the thing!”
* * * * * * * * * * *
“I’ve finally made it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I finally have a job that actually gives us Labor Day off.”
“That’s great! You’ve been wanting that for years, and it’s happened at last! Congratulations on the paid holiday!”
“Thanks!”
“So, what’re your big plans for your well-deserved three-day weekend, so long overdue? It’s the last unofficial day of summer – you can do anything you want, absolutely anything!”
“You’re right! The world is my oyster, and I can seize the entire day until it’s completely dried up!”
“Exactly! What adventures will you embark on joyously that day, then?”
“…I have no idea.”
