(On the phone)
Sibling 1: Hey, whatcha doing?
Sibling 2: Oh, not much, just taking the kids to school soon, then gotta get to work for the next eight-and-a-half hours, plus squeeze in food shopping somewhere between the end of my shift and picking the kids up from school, and cooking –
Sibling 1: That’s great; I need your advice on something.
Sibling 2: Sure, go ahead.
Sibling 1: I’ve got this huge mess in the apartment that’s really just the smaller messes joining forces into one giant horde, and it’s been hanging over me that I should do something about it, and I don’t know, what do you think?
Sibling 2: …Seriously?!
Sibling 1: It’s really bothering me.
Sibling 2: (Sighs) I dunno, maybe just throw everything out at this point.
Sibling 1: Now that’s plain wasteful. And I might want to keep a few things that’re hiding at the bottom.
Sibling 2: Then just tackle it a bit at a time and go through what you want to keep and want you can get rid of.
Sibling 1: (Whines) But that’ll take forever!
Sibling 2: Fine, you’ve gone this long living with it so keep on not doing anything about it then; the world won’t end.
Sibling 1: Really? It won’t?
Sibling 2: (Sighs again) Yes, it’ll only actually end as the sun expands into a red giant. I’m hanging up now. (Ends the call)
Sibling 1: (Staring into the middle distance) The world won’t end if I don’t do a thing….
(At a department store)
Supervisor (To Sibling 1): Hey – you gonna get around to taking care of the reshelves sometime tonight or what?
Sibling 1: (Was zoned out while leaning against a fixture) Eh?
Supervisor: I said, we’ve got a leaning tower of reshelves – you gonna put those away anytime soon?
Sibling 1: That sounds different from what you said the first time.
Supervisor: And?!
Sibling 1: And I’ll get right on those.
Supervisor: (Smiles tightly) Thank you. (Mutters while walking away) Weirdo slacker.
Sibling 1: (Resumes zoning out) Eventually….
(In Sibling 1’s apartment)
Sibling 1: (While opening mail, reads a notice) “Please reply with your donation in seven days” – or else what? (Tosses the letter onto the giant mess pile and opens another) “Please remit payment for this bill in seven days” – or else what? (Tosses the letter onto the giant mess pile and opens another) “Please submit your annual tax return in seven days” – or else what? (Tosses the letter onto the giant mess pile, which heaves as it expands once again)
(At a café)
Sibling 2: (Enters in a rush, sees Sibling 2 at a table, and heads over there to sit) Hey, sorry I’m late: had to take the dog to the vet, and then start the turkey and hors d’ouevres and sheet cake for the party tonight –
Sibling 1: Yeah, sounds fun – I picked us up coffee and muffins, but that was a chore, let me tell you. (Slides over Sibling 2’s drink and dish)
Sibling 2: How’s that? (Blow vigorously on the coffee and proceeds to down it)
Sibling 1: Well, I took your advice and cut a lot of activity out of my life –
Sibling 2: (Mouth full of muffin) Huh?
Sibling 1: – and I’ve been noticing that the less I’ve been doing, the less I want to do.
Sibling 2: Is this about that garbage-dump mess in your apartment? `Cause I can help you go through all that stuff if you want.
Sibling 1: (Sighs softly and settles even more into the chair) You’re very generous with your time and talent, but the mess and I have reached an understanding. No, it’s gone way past that now: I’m just finding it easier and easier not to do things I don’t want to do, and I’m suffering few to zero consequences for it so I’m incrementally doing even more… less, if that’s actually possible.
Sibling 2: (Finishes the muffin) Heh, lucky.
Sibling 1: Don’t rush to envy: as much of a blessing, `tis also a curse. There are fewer things I want to do now, and I’m choosing more often not to do them. I’m surprised I even made it here today.
Sibling 2: Oh no, are you suffering from depression?
Sibling 1: No, nothing that legitimate: I’m just incredibly lazy.
Sibling 2: Oh. Then get over it.
Sibling 1: That would require actual effort on my part, and my current lifestyle is the complete opposite of that.
Sibling 2: (Checks wristwatch, stands, and grabs wallet) Well, this was lovely – I gotta go make sure the kids are done cleaning the house and then finish what they missed, so good luck with your newfound life of leisure, I’m sure you’ll have a wonderfully miserable time. (Tosses some money on the table) I assume you somehow managed to stir yourself enough to pay the cashier, so here’s my half. I’m going back to my nonstop life now, byyyeeee!!! (Takes the coffee cup and dish to deposit them at the garbage area, and leaves in a rush)
Sibling 1: (Stares at the money, coffee, and muffin) But it’s so easy not to do something; no effort at all.
Employee: (Wipes down Sibling 2’s side of the table) Not to hurry you out, but we’ve got a line of people waiting to sit and you’ve been here almost an hour, just saying. (Moves on to wipe down other occupied tables)
Sibling 1: (Sighs again and gently picks at the mostly-intact muffin) So easy….
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