(In
a café)
Friend
2: (Scrolling through phone) Oooh, the results are in!
Friend
1: (Eating a muffin) Rah-ults uh wha?
Friend
2: Don’t be gross – the township election results, what else would be going on
right now?
Friend
1: Sorry, thought we were up to Oscar season already. So, which crooks are in office now?
Friend
2: Ha-ha, at least most of them try to do some good.
Friend
1: Of course they do. Until the reality
of entrenched corruption slaps them in the face and they’re forced to either
join up with the villains or die, politically speaking. Still, we usually get some paved roads and a
new playground for the kiddies out of it, so there’s that.
Friend
2: Whatever; I voted across parties this time and even wrote in a few names, so
if they actually all get elected it’ll be interesting to see if anything gets
done. Although, since I did vote, I now
have carte blanche to complain when nothing does.
Friend
1: Really? I hated all the choices this
time around so I didn’t bother voting, but now you’re saying I’m not allowed to
complain about it?
Friend
2: (Stares) You? Didn’t? Vote?
Friend
1: Facts.
Friend
2: Why not?
Friend
1: I counter that with “Why?”
Friend
2: Be-be-because it’s the cornerstone of Democracy, and our ancestors fought
for the right to have a say in how our government is run, and you’re just
completely disregarding it like it was nothing!
Friend
1: They fought for the right to have someone else do whatever they feel like
when they’re in office, while we get stuck with “Bad” and “Worse” for at least
four years or until the next puppet comes along.
Friend
2: But how can you complain now when you didn’t even vote?
Friend
1: Very easily: I complain all the time.
Friend
2: But you willfully chose to have no say! (Holds up the phone to show the election
results) Of the two of us, I should be the only one allowed to complain that
we’re stuck with Mayor McDouche, again!
Friend
1: Ugh, what losers voted her in?
Friend
2: Well, she may not’ve been if you had voted at all!
Friend
1: (Thinks for a few moments) Nah, I might’ve selected her name by accident on
the machine `cause it’s familiar. Those
things don’t let you go back and change your vote, even before you hit “Submit,”
have you ever noticed that?
Friend
2: I still can’t believe you of all people did not vote, and then have the
unmitigated gall to complain about who was elected. Only I have that right, do you hear
me?!
Friend
1: Calm down – it’s not against the law to not vote, and I can complain
all I want about my fellows. It’s my
American right.
Friend
2: You keep telling yourself that: if every citizen were like you, when it’s
the Senate race next year you might find yourself out of office because no one
bothered to show up at the polls!
Friend
1: Nonsense – if no one voted then I’d just keep my seat forever until someone
actually did. Although, I probably would
need to at least vote for myself, but I always feel like that’s a sign of
vanity.
