(In
a café)
Friend
1: (Slowly chews a muffin and watches Friend 2 working while surrounded by
piles of paper and handheld devices) What’re you doing?
Friend
2: Oh, work. Work-work-work-work-work.
Friend
1: The category was obvious – I was referring to the specifics.
Friend
2: It’s prep for tonight.
Friend
1: But you just got off your shift; you pulling a split-double or something?
Friend
2: No, I have a class tonight.
Friend
1: But you graduated years ago.
Friend
2: I’m teaching a class tonight.
Friend
1: Oh. (Takes another bite from the
muffin) I didn’t know you taught on top of saving lives all day long.
Friend
2: (Stares at Friend 1) I’ve had this class for years, where have you been?
Friend
1: Guess not paying enough attention.
(Finishes muffin and sighs) Sounds exhausting.
Friend
2: (Continuously writing notes) Yeah, no kidding. Deal with unhappy patients and unhappy
doctors and unhappy staff members by day, lecture how great it is to be a nurse
to the next generation of unhappy students by night.
Friend
1: (Slowly sips a milkshake) Right, and then you got the spouse and spawn at
home.
Friend
2: Don’t get me started!
Friend
1: OK. So how are you – ?
Friend
2: (Drops pen) You know, my kids never once clean up after themselves? I tell them and I punish them and they still
don’t do it. I swear, a cuckoo bird
snuck their children into my house and my real ones are out there somewhere,
being tidy and proper. Although I have
to admit, they do work hard in school; I have some glimmer of hope to hold
onto.
Friend
1: (Staring in disbelief, then shaking it off) Yeah, I gave up after I finished
school for good.
Friend
2: Clearly. (Returns to notes)
Friend
1: Once I stopped being graded, I faced a big old “Now what?” Did you know that I used to go to school full
time, work part time, and was an active member in three clubs when I was
in college?
Friend
2: (Looks up over glasses) You?!
Friend
1: (Begins picking at fries) Hard to believe, I know.
Friend
2: So what happened?
Friend
1: (Stretches a bit) Inertia? I guess,
deep down inside, there was a lazy lump just biding its time, waiting to emerge
from the cocoon of me.
Friend
2: I don’t believe it. How could you go
from doing everything to doing almost-nothing?
Friend
1: Surprisingly easily. Once you stop
doing one thing for good, you find yourself less inclined to do another, then
another, then another, until one day you’re lying in bed on a Saturday morning,
staring at the ceiling, thinking “Hmmmmm.”
Friend
2: Whatever; I think that was just what you let happen to yourself.
Friend
1: Could happen to any of us [slurp].
Friend
2: So why don’t you, I don’t know, go volunteer for a worthy cause?
Friend
1: Don’t feel like it.
Friend
2: Fine – why don’t you take up yoga or kickboxing or something else aggressive
and healthy?
Friend
1: Don’t feel like it.
Friend
2: OK, why don’t you go travelling around the world and skydive and all that
stuff?
Friend
1: Don’t feel like it. Plus don’t have the
money, for obvious reasons. (Begins
crunching on potato chips and speaks through a full mouth) I’m surprised I had the
energy to come here today – I was napping on the couch until about 10 minutes
before I left.
Friend
2: Then you have some issues going on that you need to work out – I’m just thankful
this’ll never happen to me.
Friend
1: Ha.
Friend
2: I’m serious! I’m so busy now I can’t
even find time for me; there’ll always be something to do.
Friend
1: Just you wait: the inertia creeps up on you and you won’t even notice you’ve
been consumed until one day you’re in that recliner, too tired to go to bed.
Friend
2: Now that’s just lazy; as for me, I – (Phone rings) Excuse me; hello?... Oh,
that’s fine, sure. You want me to – ?...
OK, maybe next semester, then. Bye. (Disconnects)
My class is cancelled for the rest of the semester – they discontinued
the course because it was redundant.
(The two stare at each other) My weeknights are now completely free….
Friend
1: And so it begins.
Friend
2: It does not! (Begins frantically gathering
supplies off the table and stuffing them into a messenger bag) I just have
some unexpected free time for myself, at long last, like a normal
40-hour-a-week person! And I can find
another class to teach, but for now I can relax without turning into a couch
potato like you!
Friend
1: If you say so. Next will be the kids
finally start cleaning up after themselves and taking over more household
responsibilities – then your work hours will get sliced due to budget cuts –
then your weekends running around will have less and less chores to fill them – you better
take a second job as a department store cashier or find a relative who needs
24-hour home care, else you just may become a sedentary sack of flesh.
Friend
2: (Covers ears) No! I will never be
like you! I have purpose and meaning in
my life! (Runs out of the café)
Friend
1: (Focuses attention on slowly slicing up a brownie) The lure of mediocrity
sucks us all in eventually.
