In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, The Little Plastic Card waited until The Human was distracted just enough, and one day saw its chance at last.
“Yippee!” The Little Plastic Card cried for joy while hopping out of The Wallet – the other Cards there rejoiced at their fellow’s good fortune.
“Hurray!” they cheered. “Fly, my friend!” “Don’t look back!” “Take me with you!”
The Little Plastic Card, reveling in newfound freedom, took the time to rest in the dark space where it had alighted – it knew it had at least a day before The Human realized something was amiss(-ing).
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh….” The Little Plastic Card enjoyed the smooth ride on the back seat floor mat as The Human obliviously commuted to and from work.
TWO NIGHTS LATER
The Little Plastic Card had just curled up in a blanket on the back seat when The Gum Wrapper popped around the driver’s seat cushion.
“Hey,” it said as an intro. “You might want to start thinking about relocating soon.”
“How’s that?”
“Word is The Human’s due to go food shopping tomorrow – that’s when you’re usually taken out to do your thing, right?”
“Oh no, that’s tomorrow already? How could I’ve lost track of the time?”
“Understandable; they’re the ones obsessed with time, what do we need stuff like watches and calendars for? So, you might wanna skedaddle outta here before then, `cause when The Human takes out The Wallet to pay and sees you’re gone this’ll be the first place they’ll start looking.”
The Little Plastic Card seriously reflected upon this bit of news. “Thank you so much for the warning, my friend. If I may ask, how did you come to find out about this?”
“I heard the other Cards in The Wallet talking today while I was still in the pants pocket.”
The Little Plastic Card planned throughout the night, and by the morning was ready: when The Human opened the driver’s side door and slid onto the seat, The Little Plastic Card quickly ducked between the feet and landed on the ground – the timing was perfect.
Watching the car drive away, The Little Plastic Card waited until that was out of sight before making its way to The Human’s townhouse. The front door had just enough of a gap at the bottom for one as flat as The Little Plastic Card to slide through, and it did so with little effort. Surveying the empty home, The Little Plastic Card felt that sense of satisfaction when faced with abundance and hardly knowing where to begin.
“The bathroom, I think – I’ve never seen it…. Ooh, somebody hasn’t swept the floor lately.”
THREE DAYS LATER
“Yeah, I know I should call the bank, but it’s not stolen, I just can’t find it!” The Human was surrounded by an array of Stuff pulled out of the bedroom closet, frantically turning out pockets while talking on the phone. “Well it didn’t just hop out of my wallet so it’s gotta be here somewhere!”
“Hee-hee-hee!” The Little Plastic Card stealthily made its way from the bedroom to the living room as The Human shouted: “That was the first place I looked!”
“You know,” A Sock under the couch chimed in while The Little Plastic Card climbed up an arm cushion, “The Human’s gonna have to replace you soon, out of necessity. I’m surprised it hasn’t already happened by now, quite frankly.”
“Good – I’m enjoying retirement!” The Little Plastic Card bounced from pillow to pillow.
“If you change your mind though, and you’re found after the new card comes in, The Human’ll have been instructed to destroy you.”
The Little Plastic Card froze in mid-bounce: “Oh. Maybe I should let myself be found now, you think?”
“Depends on what you want out of life. Me, I’m happy here with the lint and the mites; it’s rather peaceful. My other half at the time didn’t fare so well: tossed unceremoniously into the garbage can once my absence was noted. I’ll wind up there one day too, as soon as under here’s actually cleaned, but I figure I’ve got years yet, and garbage’s not so bad. Least I’ll be in one piece; you’ll be all cut up.”
“You make a good point.” The Little Plastic Card pondered how best to proceed until The Human wandered into the room, still on the phone.
“Hi, I have an account there and need to replace my debit card – ”
The Little Plastic Card dove between the cushions.
FIVE YEARS LATER
Around 2:30 a.m., The Human took out a kettle that had not been used in ages; on bringing it to the sink, a flash at the bottom caught the eye. Holding the kettle higher in the air, The Human saw The Little Plastic Card affixed to the bottom.
“How on Earth – ?”
The Little Plastic Card separated itself from the kettle and scurried off to the laundry room: “Yippee!”
The Human stared after it, then back to the bottom of the kettle: “Huh, they were right: lack of sleep really does mess you up.”
