(Six family members sit around a circular kitchen table, playing cards in hand)
Adult 1: (Sets the rest of the pile in the middle of the table, picks up the top card, and places it face-up next to the pile; turns to Child 1 on the left) All right, now you go first.
Child 1: OK.... (Sorts cards) Wait a minute…. (Sorts some more) Hold on….
Adult 2 (To Adult 1) Remind me again why we picked the 10-card game?
Adult 1: It ups the stakes.
Adult 2: What stakes?
Child 1: (Finishes sorting hand) Got it! (Looks at face-up card, then back at hand) I’ve got nothing.
Adult 1: Well that was worth the wait. (To Adult 2) You go.
Adult 2: (Draws a card, then discards another) Changed the color and the fauna!
Child 2: Oh no, my entire strategy is ruined!
Adult 3: You can’t have too much of a strategy when there’re six players – the game’s direction changes five times before it reaches you.
Adult 4: More if we reverse order… which I’m not planning at the moment….
Child 1: Is it my turn?
Adult 1: You just went!
Child 1: Nobody’s moving so I thought I missed it.
Child 2: I can’t think with all this chatter – I invoke the Silence Rule!
Adult 1: That’s not recognized in this forum; just go already.
Child 2: Fine. (Lays down a card)
Adult 3: Yessss!!!! (Triumphantly throws down a card and turns to Adult 4) In your face! Draw half the deck now.
Adult 4: (To Adult 3) Remind me on games going forward never to sit next to my spouse. (Draws half the deck)
Adult 1: Finally. (Lays down two cards) Now everyone has to draw three cards each or lose a turn.
(Almost everyone else groans)
Adult 4: (As cards spill onto the table while being sorted) I will willingly lose a turn, thanks.
Adult 3: (As everyone except Adult 1 and Adult 4 draws three cards) Doesn’t matter, I can still slam you with a doozy again, AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Adult 4: Seriously, do the marriage vows mean nothing to you?
Adult 1: (To Child 1) You go now.
Child 1: Oh! Nobody’s moving so I thought it was someone else’s turn. Ummm…. (Sorts through cards, then lays down five of them on the discard pile) Does anyone have any purples?
Adult 1: You’re supposed to ask that before you discard.
Child 2: I don’t.
Adult 2: I don’t.
Adult 3: I don’t.
Adult 4: (Setting up cards on a music stand) I shockingly don’t.
Child 1: Oh. (Starts to take the cards back from the pile) Does anyone have –
Adult 1: (Grabs the five cards and sets them back on the pile) Too late, you already asked, the answer’s no, your turn’s over.
Child 1: But I forgot the rule.
Adult 1: Too bad! Next!
Child 1: Rude.
Adult 2: Does anyone have any lions?
Adults 1, 3, and 4, and Child 2: Yes.
Child 1: (As the others give their cards to Adult 2) How is that even possible? The odds are astronomical!
Adult 4: (Still sorting) Beats me: I still have half the deck and no winning combination.
Adult 3: It’s OK, hon, I’ve got another card that’ll give you a whole bunch more to play with!
Adult 4: So thoughtful.
Child 2: NOT. SO. FAST. (Lays down a very ornately decorated card)
Adults 1-4 and Child 1: (Lean in to peer at the card in the table’s center) Ooooooooooohhhhhhh….
Child 2: That’s right: I have been the possessor of The Chronos Reversus Card this whole time, and I declare this game REVERSED!
Adult 2: NOOOOO!!!!! I was winning!
Child 2: Not anymore! All is undone! Take that, world!
Adult 4: (Starts sweeping up cards) Sweet.
Adult 1: Hold it! (Everyone freezes; Adult 1 holds up a card) I, too, have a game-changing card. (Lays down another, equally ornately decorated card)
Adult 2: (Gasps) The Reversus Reverse!
Adult 3: (To Adult 4) I didn’t think this deck had that one.
Adult 1: Precisely! (To Child 2) I have undone your undoing, wretch!
Child 2: (Slumps) Aw nuts, this was the first time I ever got to play that card, too.
Adult 1: That’s life. (To the rest of the table) Well? The Apocalypse has been cancelled; you may proceed.
Adult 4: Swell. (Starts sorting cards on the music stand again)
Child 1: Is it my turn?
Adult 1: No!
Child 1: But you just went.
Adult 1: (Gestures to Child 2) Only to foil that one’s shenanigans – game play will continue with the regular rotation!
Adult 3: So that’s me. (To Adult 4) Here you go, sweetie! (Lays down a mostly blank card)
Adult 4: (Leans in to stare at it) Is this the one where I have to take the rest of the deck?
Adult 3: It sure is!
Adult 4: (Picks up the rest of the deck) You know, it’s not so much the cards you’re playing as the utter glee you’re taking in my destruction that makes me want to call a divorce lawyer.
Adult 3: Aw, you love it!
Adult 4: I really don’t.
Child 2: (Points at the now-empty space on the table) Hey, since the deck’s gone what are we supposed to draw from?
Adult 1: I… don’t know; this has never happened before. (Takes out a thousand-page rule book and starts scanning the index)
Adult 3: Yay, I made history!
Adult 4: (Stands up to stretch out on the floor) Whelp, while we’re waiting for guidance, I’m taking a nap.
Adult 3: And I’m taking your cards!
Adult 4: Please do.
Child 1: Is it my turn?
Adult 1: (Frantically flipping through the pages) No, it’s mine, but I don’t know what to do yet because I need to draw at least seven cards and now there’s nothing!
Adult 2: (Stands and places cards face-up on the table) I’m taking this as a sign that I won – read `em and weep while I go start dinner. (Leaves the table and heads for the other side of the kitchen)
Adult 1: Hey, wait, you can’t just leave, we’re – (Sees Adult 2’s cards) oh right, you did win, never mind.
Child 2: (As the rest start turning in their cards) And I thought The Chronos Reversus Card was gonna be the game-ender.
Child 1: At least you got to play a hand – the one time I had something it turned out I messed it up.
Adult 3: (Toeing Adult 4’s side) Wake up, darling, game’s over, all the cards are gone forever now.
Adult 4: (Wakes up yawning) Oh good – I dreamt I was drowning in them.
Adult 1: (Still holding the open rule book after everyone else has dispersed throughout the house) Maybe I should’ve pushed harder for playing all-in poker instead.
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