Scenario 1: Trapped in an excessively huge mansion by a vengeful killer ghost, and circumstances
(In the ostentatious drawing room, Spouse 1 and Spouse 2 are seated in huge armchairs reading wordy tomes when the killer ghost flies in, knocking knick-knacks off the many, many shelves and making all sorts of ruckus)
Spouse 1: (Barely looking up from the book) I say, Nanny?
Nanny: (Pops head in through the doorway) Yeah?
Spouse 1: I know it wasn’t in the job description, but would you mind solving the mystery of why this dratted specter haunts our family generation after generation and now also has a disturbing connection with our off-putting child? We’ve endured it gracefully for centuries, but the constant property destruction and the occasional throat-slashing tend to wear on one.
Spouse 2: Quite. (Blinks as a vase crashes on their head)
Nanny: (Nods) Uh-huh, I could do that, ORRRRRR.... (Tosses the off-putting child into the room) I could quit and drive right on outta here.
Spouse 1: But this is your first day.
Nanny: (Ducks as flames shoot overhead) That it is, and I’ve seen enough, byeeeee!!!! (Slams the door, then opens it again to pop head back in through the doorway) By the way, I’ve called Child Protective Services on you lot. (Slams the door again and speeds off with squealing tires and plowing through decorative hedges)
(Spouse 1 and Spouse 2 stare at each other as the off-putting child and the killer ghost begin to merge souls, and the mansion’s very foundations quake)
Spouse 2: My
word.
Scenario 2: An unstoppable, possibly non-human serial killer is working through a group of young adults at a campsite
(The four bedraggled remaining campers have gathered in a circle next to a small cliff for cover)
Remaining Camper 1: Right everyone, so we’ve tried knives, we’ve tried axes, we’ve tried javelins, flamethrowers, boulders, canoe paddles, a soccer ball, fishing tackle, some kid’s left-behind tricycle, glue, and even that one disturbingly smuggled-in gun that we need to have a conversation about later, and this dude still is on the move. All phone signals and lines are out so no one is coming to save us, and our friend managed to slash all our cars’ tires and drain all the gas tanks while we weren’t looking. I am officially out of ideas and supplies, and now open to any suggestion no matter how ludicrous. (Remaining Camper 2 raises a hand) Yes, thank you, what?
Remaining Camper 2: We could just walk out of here.
Remaining Camper 1: We – what?
Remaining Camper 2: Town’s not too far away; we just follow the main drive back to the highway. I doubt we’d even have to go through the woods to get there. Dude can have the place all to himself then, which is what I think this is really all about, deep down.
Remaining Camper 1: But – but – we’d never make it! We’d get picked off one-by-one, either by this weirdo or by some ravenous bear, right before we’ve achieved victory!
Remaining Camper 2: I doubt it: we’d be in a group and the dude always waits until we’re alone before going after somebody, and if we make enough noise the bear won’t want to be bothered.
Remaining Camper 1: Oh. I guess.
Remaining Camper 3: Don’t run, either – it’ll seem like we’re panicking.
Remaining Camper 4: But don’t walk too slowly, either – it’ll seem like we’re overconfident and deserve everything we get.
Remaining Camper 1: All right! Let’s just go before this starts feeling like a bad idea.
(The Remaining Campers walk out of the camp and reach the nearby town safely)
Serial Killer: (Bursts into the clearing 10 minutes after they left) Got ya! – oh, they just walked out of here didn’t they.
Scenario 3: Worldwide zombie uprising
(In a house where a couple of survivors are holed up)
Survivor 1: I have an idea: remember back in the `60s when people were building those fallout shelters in case the Cold War turned hot-hot-hot?
Survivor 2: Yes, and we all hypocritically laugh at their paranoia – why bring it up, aren’t they all filled in by now?
Survivor 1: Not the one my grandparents built: we figured something’d drive us in there eventually; who’d’ve thought it’d be zombies?
(Survivor 1 and Survivor 2 sneak off to the fallout shelter and seal themselves in while the zombies are occupied with other fodder)
Survivor 1: (Surveys the well-stocked underground house) Whelp, this should keep us for five years.
Survivor 2: And what if whatever disaster this was planned for lasted longer than five years?
Survivor 1: ….
FIVE YEARS LATER
Survivor 1: Whelp, by now the afflicted creatures should’ve run out of human brains to sustain them and their misery has permanently ended as they slowly starved to second death – I’m going up top to have a peek.
Survivor 2: And what if they can be sustained with other animals’ brains?
Survivor 1: ....
(Survivor 1 opens the hatch and emerges from the shelter to see a world devastated by floods, fires, eradicated flora and fauna, and the Sun blocked by permanent clouds. Survivor 1 then sees a lone figure appear ominously nearby)
Zombie: (Points at Survivor 1) Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiii –
(Survivor 1 zaps the zombie with a stun gun, jumps back into the shelter, reseals the hatch, and turns to Survivor 2)
Survivor 1: So, wanna watch a movie?
