Showing posts with label owe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label owe. Show all posts

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Story 345: Don’t Make Them Pay – Make Them Owe


            (In an office)
            Coworker 1: (Answers a ringing desk phone) Accounts Payable, how can I help you?... Oh hi, how are you?... Yeah, I sent that to you last week so you could get started…. (Grinding teeth) Uh-huh…. Well, there’s a lot going on here, too…. (Grinding teeth harder) OK-let-me-get-back-to-you-on-that-bye.  (Gently replaces the receiver, then places both hands on the desk to push onto the unyielding surface) Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmf!
          Coworker 2: (Not looking up from working on a computer at a nearby desk) Bad news?  Sounds like you’re keeping yourself from pouring out cusses.
           Coworker 1: (Slowly tears a blank piece of paper to shreds) I am serene – (Tear) I am in control of my emotions – (Tear) they do not control me – (Tear-tear-tear)
            Coworker 2: Does that really work?  I’m thinking about trying it.  (Coworker 1 tears the rest of the paper in a frenzy) Guess not.
            Coworker 1: You know, I already have too much to do, why do I have to do someone else’s work now?
            Coworker 2: Someone’s dumping their stuff onto you?
        Coworker 1: Yeah, I sent them our monthly numbers so they could put them into their presentation – like they always do – but now, all of a sudden it’s “Oh, I’m really busy with X, Y, and Z going on, would you mind also doing the slides for me this time, please?”  Yes I very well would mind, I’m busy with A, B, and C going on!  But now if I say “No, you do it!”, as I should, I’m going to sound like I’m whining and people’ll say I’m being difficult and not a team player and I’m just so mad!
            Coworker 2: That you are, in more ways than one.
            Coworker 1: Ha, ha – any suggestions on what I should do, then?  I want payback.
            Coworker 2: (Finally looks over) I think… you should do it.
            Coworker 1: Traitor.
            Coworker 2: You misunderstand: do it, and then they’ll owe you.
           Coworker 1: How so?  I’m the one who’s stuck doing it, and they probably won’t care just as long as they don’t have to do it.
          Coworker 2: Yes, but if make them know how much of a favor you’re doing, you’ll have a hold over them.  They’ll constantly be looking for ways to pay you back, trust me.
            Coworker 1: I doubt it; they’re more likely to just forget it and go on with their life.
          Coworker 2: Don’t let them forget it.  E-mail is a wonderful passive-aggressive tool: use it well and often.
            Coworker 1: Ooh.  This may just work.

ONE WEEK LATER

         Coworker 2: – so I could take early retirement, but then I’d lose almost three years of complaining about work.
          Coworker 1: Good point.  (Phone rings) `Scuse me – (Picks up the receiver) Accounts Payable, how may I help you?... Oh, hello…. (Turns to Coworker 2 and mouths “It’s them”; Coworker 2 mouths “Go for it”) Why yes, it took me quite a bit of time to get it all done, so I hope the slides were good enough for your presentation…. Oh, you’re quite welcome – listen, I hate to cut you off, but I’m the middle of trying to generate a report on this quarter’s returns and it’s taking me forever…. Oh, would you?  (Turns to Coworker 2; both nod at each other) Well, that would certainly be a huge help; I know you’re much better with this software than I am; thank you so much!.... OK, bye-bye!  (Hangs up) Sweet.  I hate doing that report.
            Coworker 2: You’re welcome.  Of course, now you two are even and you can’t get any more work out of them, unless they pull something similar again.
          Coworker 1: Oh no, you’re right!  This means I’ll just have to go around doing favors for everyone here so one day they’ll be doing all of my work for me, hee-hee-hee!  (Looks at Coworker 2 slyly; the latter is back to working on the computer) So, got any projects you have absolutely no time for?
            Coworker 2: Nothing doing – I’m still working off what I owe across three departments.