“Oh my goodness, hi!”
“Oh! Hey there.”
“It’s been so long since I last saw you! How’ve you been?”
“Heh-heh; want the short version?”
“Ha-ha-ha, it’s all good!”
“OK then: my partner and I split up after 47 years and all I got was a lousy case of lice; had to move outta the house into a one-room apartment, and I mean one-room; got demoted at work two years ago for mouthing off at the customers and my salary got demoted right along with me, with both of us yet to recover; broke my collarbone in a freak roller skating accident a few months ago but that’s all better except now it can forecast the weather if you know what I mean; also the warts all came back at once so my dermatologist is furiously working on how to annihilate those – ”
“Ohhhhh….”
“ – the kids
don’t talk to me anymore, but I’d stopped talking to my parents around the same
age so I had it coming – ”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“Hi there! How’s life treatin’ ya?”
“Ah, not too bad: the usual aches, pains, and debt, same old story. How about you?”
“Oh, you know, same old story: demanding family, annoying neighbors, chronic joint issues, going back to prison for violating parole – the usual.”
“…What?”
“You know how it is: you kite a few checks, you embezzle a few charitable organizations, you grand theft a few autos, and all of a sudden you’re Public Enemy #39.”
“Ummm….”
“I suppose I should turn myself in, again, but really, if you’re not living on the edge a little, can you even say you’re living at all?”
“I… think that cop car over there is slowing down to speak with you.”
“Huh? Shoot. Well, it’s been great catching up, but I gotta run – we really should talk more some time soon…!”
“…Yeah.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“Oh, hello! It’s been a while since I saw you last, let me think....”
“Twenty-three years.”
“Twenty-three years, my-my-my, how time flies! So… how’ve you been?”
“All right.”
“Really?”
“Yeah: not much going on; can’t complain. You?”
“Oh, I’m fine.”
“That’s good.”
“So….”
“So… see you again in 23 years, then?”
“Sounds great,
see you then!”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“ – occasionally I can’t see out of one eye, but it’s not constant so I’m not gonna bother doing anything about it; ooh, and my car got repossessed last year, but by gum, I got it back. I think that’s about it for the major stuff; how’ve you been?”
“Hm? Oh, good, thanks.”
“Just ‘good?’”
“How on Earth could anyone follow that?!”
“Heh-heh, yeah; I do tend to go on.”
