(In a waterpark supermarket)
Dreamer: (Addressing a crowd of teddy bears as unseen chaos reigns in the flooded aisles around them) All right, soldier:, the campaign is fierce and the enemy is relentless, but with cunning, strategy, and plain old-fashioned lucky breaks, we will prevail. (Points to a teddy bear in the front) You, Lieutenant!
Lieutenant: (Is now a tree) Yes, Cap’n?
Dreamer: …I forgot what I was going to say.
(Courier strolls across a stage carrying a package, clipboard, and pen)
Courier: Someone here order ice cream?
Dreamer: (Waves wildly) Ooh, ooh, me, me! (Runs over to Courier and draws an “X” on the clipboard that Courier holds out; the latter then hands over the box)
Courier: Here ya go. (Vanishes in a puff of smoke)
Dreamer: (Tears open the box) Yessss! (Sees a turtle inside) Huh?
Turtle: `Sup.
Actor: (Standing slightly upstage of Dreamer and wearing a Renaissance-era costume) Psst!
Dreamer: (Turns to face Actor with empty hands) What, what do you want, what, what?!
Actor: (Hissing) That’s your cue!
Dreamer: It is? (Turns out to face the audience of vampires seated in an auditorium) Right. (Clears throat) “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” (Vampires stare back blankly) That’s all I got.
Vampires: (Rise as one with a standing ovation) Blood! Blood!
Dreamer: Is that a “Yay” or a “Boo”? (Turns to Actor and sees the Little Dipper up close) Ooh, can I touch it? (Reaches out to touch Polaris; hand is slapped by a ruler) Ow! That didn’t actually hurt but I felt the need to say it anyway.
Teacher: (Standing at the front of a small classroom) Sit down – it’s time for the test that you didn’t study for!
Dreamer: Oh yeah, that! (Looks around the room) What a minute – did I even go to class at all this semester?
Teacher: No! And this is the final!
Dreamer: Oops. Knew I was forgetting something lately. (Sits at a desk, surrounded by first graders)
Teacher: (Points the ruler at the chalkboard) Now, Class! Solve this quadratic equation in 60 seconds or you all fail!
Dreamer: (As first graders scribble frantically on their coloring books) Quadratic… is this Algebra?
Teacher: (Has turned into The Void) No talking!
Dreamer: (Tapping a crayon against the desk) Hm… I don’t think I like this….
(Turns around and is in a backyard)
Relative 1: (Holding a large platter of roses and a pair of tongs while wearing a “Grill Master” apron) What’ll it be? Baseball or corn hole?
Dreamer: Umm… corn hole?
Relative 1: Here ya go. (Uses the tongs to toss a pouch at Dreamer)
Dreamer: (Lets the pouch fall to the ground) Am I supposed to eat that or something?
Relative 2: (Runs up from behind) Hey, wanna play?
Dreamer: (Turns) Sure, what, corn hole?
Relative 2: Nah, silly – gladiator games!
Dreamer: What?! (Turns again and is in the middle of the Roman Colosseum with self-piloting chariots aflame whizzing by, spaceships laser fighting each other, and cheerleaders backflipping their way around the track) OK, HOLD IT! (Everything freezes) This – is – a dream….
Actor: (Eating ice cream in a nearby stadium seat) Whaddya mean?
Dreamer: I’m… dreaming. This is a dream. (Looks around at the frozen tableau) And it stinks. I wanna speak to the manager!
Actor: (Swallows the cone) Newsflash: you are the manager.
Dreamer: …Oh yeah, right. OK. (Addresses the tableau) Change.
Tableau: To what?
Dreamer: I dunno, outer space or something. (Is now in outer space) Cool. Ooh-ooh, I think this means I can fly now! (Starts flying above the treetops) Hey, I didn’t say you could change back to boring old Earth!
Albatross: (Flying parallel to Dreamer) Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean you’re in charge, you know.
Dreamer: That makes no sense! (Shouts to the sky) Change back to space! (Is underwater near a coral reef and holds breath)
Submarine: (Gliding nearby) You can breathe here.
Dreamer: (Relaxes blown-up cheeks) I know.
Submarine: No you didn’t.
Dreamer: Whatever – why isn’t this staying where I want it?
Submarine: (Doing a backstroke) Where, outer space?
Dreamer: Yes! (Starts knitting a blanket)
Submarine: I don’t know – guess you don’t know much about it?
Dreamer: (Holds up a passing manta ray) And I know about the ocean?!
Submarine: More than outer space, I guess.
Dreamer: (Releases the manta ray, who offers a parting slap in the face) Oof – fine. I wanna fly again anyway. (Starts taking low-gravity leaps through the countryside) Guess this’ll have to do – whee!
Childhood Friend Not Seen in 25 Years: (Cups hands around mouth to yell at Dreamer from the ground) Having fun up there?
Dreamer: (Yells up and down with leaps) Yeah, but – if I – know it’s – a dream – why can’t – I really – control it?
Childhood Friend Not Seen in 25 Years: You’re interfering with our work! Just stay out of the way and let us repair the daily damage you do to all of us and stop trying to control everything for two seconds!
Dreamer: (Mid-leap) But – (Wakes up in bed) Oh.
(In Therapist’s office)
Dreamer: (Lying on a couch and talking to the ceiling) I dunno, does this all mean that I am overly controlling? Or is it the opposite and I feel out of control of my life? Or that I’m surrounded by chaos in an unfeeling world and this is the only way I can cope with my meaningless existence? (Turns around to hold onto the edge of the couch and face Therapist) I need answers – what does having all those dreams mean?!
Therapist: (Flexing one hand and rotating wrist to work out cramps while the other hand holds pages full of notes) It means I’m shocked you don’t wake up completely exhausted every morning.