In the 95°F late August weather, The Employee clocks out of work at 5:00 p.m. and transforms into The Commuter, soon to become The Shopper – there is always some kind of work to be done.
The bus’s air conditioning does battle with the extreme heat and humidity during the ride through the city; the passengers melt off at each stop, the driver nearly joining them every time.
The sun has been setting a minute earlier each day; at night, the heat remains.
The Commuter evaporates into The Shopper while exiting the bus and floats into a department store; the sweat immediately turns to icicles and The Shopper condenses as the overpowered air conditioning blasts the entire building. The Shopper’s internal thermodynamics are thrown in a state of array and run off screaming.
The Shopper is likewise befuddled: “Is this Halloween?”
The entire store is decorated in various shades of orange, brown, and black; fake falling leaves are everywhere; possibly-fake cobwebs are strung amongst displays.
The Shopper plunges through a pile of football season paraphernalia to grab a shopping cart, and the trek through the store begins.
One item needed is a replacement beach umbrella, which is tucked away in Summer Clearance: “But I’m going there this weekend! The lifeguards are still on duty! Why is all the beach stuff shoved out of the season?!”
At the end of an aisle is a few sunscreen bottles; as The Shopper reaches for one, a motion sensor is tripped and a cackling witch flashes its LED eyes at passers-by. The Shopper jumps only slightly: “Oh, dear.”
Ghosts and goblins line the walls and shelves, and the constant breeze stirs up the haphazardly strewn leaves and strategically strewn hay bales.
At the store’s café, The Shopper stands on line to buy a lemonade. The frazzled barista finishes the three-course-meal order of the previous customer and turns to The Shopper: “Hello, would you like to try our pumpkin spice coffee, our pumpkin spice scone, and/or our pumpkin spice pumpkin?”
“…Not today, thank you.”
Sipping the lemonade, The Shopper wanders into the holiday section of the store, which has been converted into a haunted house.
“Beware of midnight, bwahahahaha!!!!” an employee dressed as a werewolf at the house’s entrance greets The Shopper.
The latter checks a watch: “But it’s only 7:00.”
The werewolf’s snarling face stares blankly at The Shopper, who continues on to the candy aisle haunted by products not really needed for another two months: “Ooh, sea salt caramels, yoink!” Into the cart they go.
The ceiling speakers burst into spooky music at random intervals to announce discounts for the fall; as The Shopper enters one aisle covered in school supplies, the banners strung all over the place and the speakers both scream: “Back to School Sale!”
“Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!”
“You’re telling me,” a child says to The Shopper while being forcefully guided into the aisle by their parent.
Shopping completed, The Shopper transforms once more into The Commuter as the journey home begins. The sky darkens as night approaches; the temperature is now 88°F; and the sweat resumes its previous activity as the wait for a new bus commences.
The Commuter looks forward to one last day at the beach, filled with sand, surf, and people just everywhere, and a book to read in front of the crashing waves after making the inconvenient trip all the way out there. While boarding the steaming bus whose air conditioning had surrendered in defeat, The Commuter sees a ginormous sign stretched over the street ahead:
COME SEE OUR THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE NOVEMBER 25!!!
