Story 213: Thanksgiving E-mail Invite

Hi everybody!  You’re invited to our pre-Thanksgiving Dinner!

When: Sunday, November 19, at 1:00 p.m.

Where: Our House

Please let us know what you dish you’ll be bringing so there are no duplicates!

Guest 1

Replied: Yes (2 guests)

Bringing my famous sweet potato pie!

            Host: Yummy!  Thanks!

Guest 2

Replied: Yes (4 guests)

Do the kids count as a dish? ;-)  Seriously, all I have the strength for is some pre-packaged fruit salad.

            Host: We’ll take it!  We’ll take anything!

Guest 3

Replied: No (0 guests)

Working.   ---- my life.

            Host: You’ll be missed!  We’ll save some leftovers for you!

            Guest 3: Sweet.

Guest 4

Replied: Yes (1 guest)

Was going to bring sweet potato pie, now I’ve got nuthin’.

            Host: Could you bring a turkey? :-)

            Guest 4: Guess I can whip up some cranberry sauce.

Guest 5

Replied: Yes (2 guests)

Also was going to bring sweet potato pie – would french fries be all right?

            Host: Are you being serious?

            Guest 5: Yes.

            Host: Then no.

            Guest 5: How about potato chips?

            Host: How about a turkey? :-)

            Guest 5: I’ll bring hash browns.

Guest 6

Replied: No (Changed from Yes)

Planned on coming, but now my relatives are flying in that weekend.

            Host: They can come too!

            Guest 6: You really don’t want that.

            Host: Yeah, that would be awkward.  For everybody.

Guest 7

Replied: Yes (3 guests)

Dibs on sweet potato pie!

            Host: Honey, that was the first one taken.

            Guest 7: Oh, missed that.  You want regular potato pie?

            Host: How about a turkey? :-)

            Guest 7: We’ll bring brownies.

Guest 8

Replied: Yes (2 guests)

We’re coming!  What do you guys need us to bring?

            Host: How about a turkey? :-)

            Guest 8: Are you trying to tell us that you don’t have the turkey?

            Host: …Maybe.

            Guest 8: Let me get back to you.

Guest 9

Replied: Yes (1 guest)

I can bring a tofurkey if you want.

            Host: We’d rather you didn’t.

            Guest 9: Turducken?

            Host:  That creeps me out.

            Guest 9: How about half a chicken?

            Host: Just bring some wine, please.

Guest 10

Replied: Yes (2 guests)

Sweet potato pie!

            Host: The next person to suggest that is uninvited.

            Guest 10: Is that a “No” then?

            Host: Corn on the cob would be great.

Guest 11

Replied: Yes (5 guests)

We can bring desserts!  Apple pie, pumpkin pie, mincemeat pie, strawberry rhubarb pie, any pie!

            Guest 10: How about sweet potato? :-)

            Host: Does no one read the rest of the replies?!

            Guest 8: I do.  You guys don’t have a turkey.

            Host: Then bring one!

          Guest 8: Why are you hosting a Thanksgiving party when you don’t even have the main entrée?

            Host: We’re just providing the venue!  You guys provide the food!

            Guest 8: That only works in rental halls, not private residences.

            Guest 10: Wait, does this mean I can bring the you-know-what pie, then?

            Host: Go back to sleep.

Guest 12

Replied: Yes (1 guest)

I earned a free frozen turkey at the supermarket if you want it.

            Host: Thank you so much!

            Host: Soooo… does anyone know how to cook one of those things?

           Guest 8: I recommend that we just have a meal of sides and desserts – the turkey is immaterial.

          Host: Yes!  Thank you!  I can’t stand the pressure – this holiday is about the company and the warm feelings and the happiness, dagnabbit!  This will be the best pre-Thanksgiving ever or else!

            Guest 8: That’s the spirit.