(Downtime during a family party, Older Cousin wanders into the hosting family’s den and sees Younger Cousin sitting on the couch and playing a video game on the TV)
Older Cousin: Neat – which game is this?
Younger Cousin: (Continues zooming around the virtual course) “Surpassing Siblings Car Race: Grand Prize.”
Older Cousin: (Watches for a bit) Those characters look familiar….
Younger Cousin: Oh yeah, it’s the latest in the “Surpassing Siblings” series. (Pauses the race, navigates through the system’s main menu, and retrieves a retro-looking, extremely pixelated game) Here’s a version using the original images: they labeled it “Classic Surpassing Siblings: Car Race.”
Older Cousin: “Classic”?! But I played those games when I was a… kid.
Younger Cousin: (Resumes the first game) If it makes you feel any better, they’ll probably label this version “Classic” by the time I’m your age, which’ll be here before you know it.
Older Cousin: That does help, thanks.
Younger Cousin: (Finishes the race, picks up another game controller, and holds it out to Older Cousin) Would you like to play with me? It gets a little routine playing against the bots, and my parents discourage me from going online too much and playing against potential trolls.
Older Cousin: (Slowly takes the controller and sits next to Younger Cousin on the couch) I don’t know – I haven’t played much of anything in literally decades, and never with this type of controller….
Younger Cousin: It hasn’t changed too much over the years. (Points to the buttons) That one makes you go forward, that one makes you turn, this and that make you jump, and this and that make you throw things at the other racers.
Older Cousin: (Nods while examining the controller) OK, cool, I think it’s all coming back to me now. (Looks up at the screen as Younger Cousin navigates the menu) Which character should I pick?
Younger Cousin: I usually go with Luis, so if you don’t mind me sticking with him then anyone else is fair game.
Older Cousin: (Navigates through the menu) I think I’ll go with… Baroness Berry. I always liked her sass.
Younger Cousin: (Navigates through the menu) Is it all right with you we race on Topsy-Turvy-Twisty Trail? It’s not too advanced: there’s only one wormhole hidden on the track.
Older Cousin: …That sounds just fine.
Younger Cousin: (Sets up the course) All right – first one who does three laps wins. You ready?
Older Cousin: (Muttering while leaning forward on the couch, controller at the ready) Yep, it’s all coming back to me….
SURPASSING SIBLINGS CAR RACE: GRAND PRIZE
(Luis and Baroness Berry rev their little cars’ engines at the starting grid, surrounded by eight other competitors)
Baroness Berry: (Holding a shiny ball; to Luis) Hey, I don’t remember this in the original game; what is it?
Luis: Glitter bomb. Really throws everyone for a loop when it goes off.
Baroness Berry: Oh. (Looks closer at the ball) Sparkly.
3 – 2 – 1 – GO!
Luis: And we’re off! (Zooms away down the track and immediately overtakes everyone in the race)
Baroness Berry: (Slowly moves forward, then begins to drift to the right) Hang on – (Tries to turn left, instead turns more right) Wait a sec – (Crashes into a wall, then starts sliding along it)
Robot Player 1: (While speeding by, slows down long enough to toss a projectile at Baroness Berry) Papaya peel!
Baroness Berry: Huh? (Is spun around in tight circles for several seconds)
Luis: (Slows down while passing by) Just toss your glitter bomb or anything else in your stash as these guys pass. (Activates a rocket booster to fly over other racers and make up the lost seconds)
Baroness Berry: I’m still trying to figure out how to go in a straight line! (Starts moving forward and begins picking up speed) Yes – (Passes several racers as they cross a lagoon) Yes – (A sharp turn in a sudden corn field comes up; Baroness Berry tries to turn with it but crashes into a wall again) No – (Slides along the wall, then starts driving in large circles in the middle of the track) No –
Robot Player 2: (Speeding by) Papaya peel!
Baroness Berry: (Is spun around in tight circles for several seconds, then throws the glitter bomb where Robot Player 2 is no longer) Revenge! (The glitter burst all over the screen but no other racers are affected, since they all are on the other side of the track) So much for that. (Starts driving in large circles again) No –
Luis: (Passing by) Try hitting the top button.
Baroness Berry: I am hitting the top button! Why won’t this thing steer straight when I tell it to?! (Starts to drive diagonally across the track, running over grass and random objects) Does it still count if I go this way?
Luis: (Using dry ice and dish detergent to confound and scatter the other racers) Not sure – never took that way before.
Baroness Berry: (Crashes into Luis on the other side of the track; both spin around) Oh, hello there.
Luis: Hi. (Dry ices Baroness Berry)
Baroness Berry: Hey! I’m losing anyway!
Luis: Sorry – force of habit. (Zooms away)
Baroness Berry: (Moves forward, immediately crashing into a wall) Oh come on!
Robot Player 3: (Speeding by) Papaya peel!
Baroness Berry: (Is spun around in tight circles for several seconds, then zooms after Robot Player 3 and tosses a glitter bomb at the latter’s car; bull’s-eye) Aha! Take that! Hey, I think I finally got the hang of – (Crashes into a wall)
Luis: (Crosses the finish line to Robot Audience applause; to Baroness Berry) Not bad – let’s see our scores.
1ST PLACE: LUIS – 5,365 POINTS
-
-
-
10TH PLACE: BARONESS BERRY – 4 POINTS
Older Cousin: (Raises arms in triumph) Woo-hoo! More than zero!
Younger Cousin: Yeah, you got a good shot in at the end there.
Older Cousin: (Sets the controller down on the coffee table and rubs eyes) Thanks, but I’m really feeling my age right now. I can’t believe I couldn’t even steer straight!
Younger Cousin: Well, like everything else, it takes practice even if you’ve done something similar to it before. You still got most of the basics down, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Older Cousin: Thanks, kid. (Stretches stiff muscles and creaking bones) Whelp, stuff like this certainly put things in perspective.
Younger Cousin: That it does. (Starts navigating the menu) Wanna go again?
Older Cousin: (Snatches up the controller from the table) You betcha.
