(At an outdoor public pool, Friend 1 and Friend 2 lie stretched out on lounge chairs, reading waterproof books and watching families splash around in glee)
Friend 2: (To Friend 1) So, are you going to spend more than five minutes in the pool we paid $15 to spend all day in?
Friend 1: Are you?
Friend 2: …Maybe.
Friend 1: Same. Besides, it’s more of the social experience than the actual getting-wet part.
Friend 2: You haven’t said one word to anyone here besides me; we could have done the same thing at a park for free.
Friend 1: But this way feels as if we’re at least making an effort.
Swimmer: (Climbs out of the pool and nods at Friend 1 and Friend 2 while passing their chairs) Good morning!
Friend 2: Good –
Friend 1: Don’t talk to me.
Friend 2: MORNING, hope you’re having a great day!
Swimmer: (Continues on uncertainly) Uh, thanks, you too.
Friend 2: (To Friend 1) You know, at this rate I’m shocked no one’s smacked you for your rudeness yet.
Friend 1: So am I. (They both return to reading. After several moments, a gentle breeze wafts by; Friend 1 suddenly sits up, ripping off sunglasses and hissing through clenched teeth) Did you feel that?!
Friend 2: (Tiredly, without looking up from the book) What, did you get splashed by a stray drop of water from an inconsiderate child in the giant pool we’re sitting in front of?
Friend 1: No! Well yes, but I’ve risen above it – no, I was referring to that, that… (Points up to the sky) ill-omened wind.
Friend 2: I… felt a slight breeze for less than a second, if that’s what you meant.
Friend 1: Oh, that was no breeze: that was The Herald. The Harbinger. The Portent of Things to Come.
Friend 2 I didn’t hear there’s supposed to be rain today.
Friend 1: I’m talking about fall! It’s here already, can’t you feel it?! (The breeze wafts once more) There it is again!
Friend 2: It’ll be over 90° Fahrenheit for the next week.
Friend 1: Doesn’t matter! We’re in September: the planet tilting away from the Sun in this hemisphere has reached the tipping point, the coolness of dread has begun, there’s no going back, the magic is over!
Friend 2: Calm down.
Friend 1: How can I when summer has come to a crashing end and all joy has ceased to be?! (Notices that everyone in the pool had stopped splashing and now are staring at both of them) I’m rehearsing lines for a play. (They shrug and return to splashing)
Friend 2: I would be embarrassed but you manage to draw all attention to yourself, so thanks for that at least. (Returns to reading)
Friend 1: (Lies back on the lounge chair and shoves sunglasses back on) That’s right, continue on in your ignorant bliss; I’ll mourn the passing of fun times and the illusion of permanent youth in silence.
Friend 2: Please do.
(The next day, Friend 1 approaches the main counter in a café)
Barista: Hi! How can I help you toady?
Friend 1: I would like a giant refresher, please.
Barista: (Winces slightly) Sorry, those aren’t on the menu anymore until next summer.
Friend 1: It still is summer for another three weeks; I have a cactus on my windowsill that melted just this morning.
Barista: Yeah, but you know how it is in the World of Retail: end of August means Back-to-School sales, Halloween decorations, and fake Christmas trees. Would you like me to whip you up a pumpkin-spice something?
Friend 1: I will pass on that abomination and take a regular brownie instead.
Barista: I hear ya – between you and me, gingerbread is where it’s at.
Friend 1: Making it worse.
Barista: Gotcha.
(The next day, Friend 2 answers the phone while cooking in the kitchen) Hey, what’s up?
Friend 2: (Lying on the living room couch, wrapped up in blankets) I had to put on a sweater today.
Friend 2: What? Oh, yeah, that cold front came in all of a sudden; I think it’s from that hurricane that hit south of us, those poor people –
Friend 1: It’s still summer!
Friend 2: Well, it was hot before when we technically were still in spring, so….
Friend 1: It’s hot all year long now, that’s not the point! It’s not supposed to be cool breezes with falling leaves and homework yet; it’s supposed to still be super-hot all the time with 16 hours of daylight and beaches and boardwalks and roller coasters and ice creams and sleepovers and vacations and happiness forever and – and – and –
Friend 2: Are you crying?
Friend 1: Not yet.
Friend 2: (Resumes slicing an onion) Good. Now, listen carefully because I’m only going to say this once: in about two months there’ll be peppermint hot chocolate.
Friend 1: I suppose I’ll have to settle for that as a trade-off.
