Showing posts with label domino effect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label domino effect. Show all posts

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Story 380: Defeated by a Domino Effect Day

 (At an office, Coworker 2 flips through a pile of papers at a desk, winces when getting a paper cut, and stares at the finger in fascination)

Coworker 2: I will never get over how something so soft can cut like a knife.  Probably revenge of the trees.

(Coworker 1 enters the office in a tizzy, carrying several bags and looking like a hot mess)

Coworker 1: (Throws the bags onto the floor at the desk next to Coworker 2) Yes, I know I’m late, I know I’m supposed to be on that conference call, stop judging me with your silence.  (Starts changing from boots to shoes)

Coworker 2: (Putting on a bandage) Hm?  I’m too busy bleeding over here to care about you right now.

Coworker 1: (Sits at the desk and logs onto the computer) Good, `cause it’s not even 8:00 yet and I’m already having a day.

Coworker 2: You too?  Mine’s been a peach.

Coworker 1: Yeah, well, the heat in my apartment’s still broken, and I have damp clothes on because the clothes dryer’s also still broken, and I got stuck in the permanent traffic jam on the way here, and just now I fell in the icy parking lot and somebody saw it!

Coworker 2: Oh no, you fell?!  Are you hurt?

Coworker 1: Nah, that’s all fine, but it’s so embarrassing!

Coworker 2: Never mind.

Coworker 1: (Starts dialing on the desk phone) Ssh now, I have to call in for this.  (Navigates the prompts, then places the phone on speaker)

Voice: – not that anyone cares, but this metric went up 0.5% last quarter, so, yay.  Now let’s hear from the fourth floor and whatever’s going on there.

Coworker 1: (Hits a few buttons on the phone) Hi, it’s the fourth floor: we had a slight setback this year in, you know, everything –

Voice: Fourth floor, you there?

Coworker 1: (Hits the same buttons on the phone) Hi, can you hear me?

Voice: Guess we’ll have to skip them forever and move on to my favorite part: budget cuts.

Coworker 1: (Slamming fists onto the phone) I’m right here!  Why does no one hear me?!

Voice: You’ll be happy to learn that the first cut is my position, so, yay.  Bye.  (Call ends)

Coworker 1: (Rips the phone off the desk and throws it at the wall) Why didn’t anyone hear me??!!

Coworker 2: I certainly did – I think you might’ve hit the wrong button when trying to unmute yourself, though.

Coworker 1: It knew what I meant!  Oh well: back to real work.  (Starts checking e-mail) Half of this is garbage cluttering up my time.  Wait, what’s this?  (Opens a message) And there goes the rest of my day.

Coworker 2: Why?

Coworker 1: I have 10 projects due today but now I have to drop everything to work on this new one, which is going to take at least all day and then I have to go to a meeting talking about it – why always the avalanche, why??  (A second desk phone rings – items on the desk go flying as Coworker 1 lunges to answer it) WHAT?!

Coworker 3: (Voice) Ooh, somebody’s a cranky pants.

Coworker 1: You think that’s cranky, listen to this!  (Rips the phone off the desk and throws it at the wall)

Coworker 2: You know, you’re gonna start running out of phones that way.

Coworker 1: Plenty more where they came from.  (A third desk phone rings) Speaking of – (Answers it) Make it quick!  (Listens, then only slams down the receiver) Telemarketer.

Coworker 2: Well this day’s certainly not going to be annoying.

 HOURS LATER

 Coworker 1: (Occasionally swerves chair into the pile of phones against the wall while muttering at the computer screen) It’s not fair – I started this thing so early – why won’t people just leave me alone to finish something

Coworker 2: (All packed up to leave for the day) You know, we get written up if we clock out late, right?

Coworker 1: (Without looking away from the screen) If everyone stopped talking to me then that wouldn’t be an issue!  (Sees a new e-mail) Aaaaaaand now I have homework.

Coworker 2: Tough luck.  I’m leaving now so you don’t taint me with it.  (Leaves)

Coworker 1: (Continues to stare at the screen, eyes glazing over) If only the heat in my apartment was working this morning, none of this would’ve happened….