(At a family get-together, family members get together around a long dining room table in the only house that can fit everyone)
Head of Family: (Raises a glass to signal others to do the same) I’d like to take this moment to say, it’s great to see you all here today, and even though we have dinners like this for every major holiday we celebrate, we should never take each other or occasions like this for granted.
(Relative 1’s mouth drops open in mid-pasta-chew)
Relative 2: Hear, hear!
Relatives: Cheers!
Head of Family: Wait, I wasn’t finished yet! (Relatives pause mid-sip) Soooo… umm….
Relative 3: Don’t take anything for granted?
Head of Family: Right! Yes! Don’t. Bottom line: appreciate moments like this when we’re all together, and eating good food, and listening to that one over there’s work stories for the 88th time –
Relative 4: Heh?
Head of Family: Love you all! (Raises glass higher) Now you can cheer.
Relatives: Cheers! (Everyone downs their drinks and then dives into the food)
Relative 3: (Sitting next to Relative 1) Something wrong with your dish?
Relative 1: (Had been staring into the middle distance) What? No, it’s just – it’s finally sinking in that I don’t truly appreciate things as much as I should.
Relative 3: (Begins eating) Well, when you think about it, who really does?
Relative 1: Lots of people! And I thought I did, but it’s suddenly crashing in on me that, dinner-in, dinner-out, I just assume this pasta will always be there, and always taste delicious.
Relative 5: Aw, thank you!
Relative 1: (Points to Relative 5) See! I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you for cooking us all dinner at these things in over 30 years!
Relative 5: It’s my pleasure – but it’s nice to hear every once in a while, too. (Glares at the rest of the table)
Relative 1: (Back to Relative 3) And I just shovel this food into my mouth, and don’t take the time to truly appreciate the flavor, or the work in making it, or the fact that we all can meet together like this and for the most part actually like each other, or the overwhelming love in this room!
(The other Relatives have stopped eating and now are staring at Relative 1)
Head of Family: Hey – don’t make this weird.
Relative 1: Sorry. (Sheepishly starts eating again)
Relative 3: (As everyone else resumes the meal) I’m sure you’re fine; I wouldn’t worry much about whether you’re showing your gratitude enough, m’kay? (Definitively turns away and begins talking with Relative 5)
Relative 1: (Whispers to the pasta) Too late….
(At a theater several days later, Relative 1 is leaning forward in the seat with wide-open eyes, taking in as much of the spectacle on stage as possible until intermission)
Relative 1: (Looks around as the house lights brighten and the entire theater stands up to go find the restrooms) Wait, I’m still trying to absorb the entire experience but my mind keeps jumping ahead to work tomorrow!
Theater-goer: Relax; it’ll start again in 15 minutes.
Relative 1: The curtain never goes up on time!
(At a retail store the next day, Relative 1 stands in a trance behind the cash register counter)
Coworker: (Walks over to Relative 1) Hey, what’s up with you?
Relative 1: (Still staring at the opposite end of the store) Oh, just taking it all in that I’ve been working here for almost five years, and it really is a nice environment to spend 40+ hours a week in, even when there’s an overwhelming amount of tasks and some customers just can’t help trolling us and some managers misplace their wrath on their beleaguered subordinates, you know. (Looks at Coworker) You’re pretty cool to work with, did I ever tell you that?
Coworker: Uh, thanks, but I came here to give you a heads-up that you-know-who called out again so you’re going to have to cover the entire back half of the store in addition to the registers tonight.
Relative 1: Son of a – no, no, that is not the attitude I should be taking toward this situation. Instead, I should view this as a stimulating challenge that I will ably conquer and look back upon fondly 10 years from now, when this era magically transforms from “The Annoying Times” to “The Good Old Days.”
Coworker: Hey, whatever works; I’m just riding this place out until graduation. (Goes on break)
Relative 1: (Turns back to face the chaotic store and smiles as a line of customers materializes) You do you.
(In a dentist’s office the next day, Relative 1 is sitting in The Chair)
Dentist: (Holds X-rays up to the light) As you can see, years of failing to properly brush and floss combined with all the sugar you consume regularly have accumulated into the massive amounts of decay on every last one of your teeth – I’m going to have to put in fillings everywhere if there’s to be any hope of saving them, and even then it’ll be 50-50 for the molars.
Relative 1: (Grins wildly with rotten teeth) Pain, expense, added daily hygiene routines, possible bone loss: this is a valuable experience that I will endure stoically and later brag about to friends and enemies alike. Drill away, Doc! (Lies back on The Chair and opens mouth wide in a silent yell of triumph)
Dentist: (Mutters) Weirdo. (Begins drilling enamel)
(At home the next day, Relative 1 is sitting on an armchair holding an ice pack against one side of the mouth when the phone rings)
Relative 1: (Speaking with swollen everything) Hi?
Relative 3: Hey, heard about your massive number of fillings – how’re you feeling now?
Relative 1: Could be better. I’m actually just sitting around, contemplating my blessings of basic good health, loving family, comfortable life, etc., etc.
Relative 3: Oh, you’re still on that kick? You know, you can appreciate life and all that, but if you keep focusing so much on trying to appreciate single moments it seems like you’re actually going to miss out on the things you’re trying to appreciate in the first place.
Relative 1: …Eh?
Relative 3: Don’t take anything too far, is what I’m saying. Otherwise I’m going to spend Thanksgiving distracted seeing you zone out all over the place.
Relative 1: But how else am I gonna appreciate life to the utmost fullest?!
Relative 3: I don’t know; spot-check it, I guess! And in the spirt of the topic, I’m going to appreciate my life more by ending this conversation now – bye. (Hangs up)
Relative 1: (Sets down the phone and leans into the ice pack more) I just wish I could tell whether I’m appreciating the moment in the right amount.
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