Child, Age 6: Momma, Poppa: when I
grow up, I’m going to be a doctor, a police officer, a ballet dancer, and a
firefighter.
Mother: That’s great honey – now get ready for
school.
Child, Age 6: Aw, do I have to?
Father: If you want to have any of
those careers, yes.
Child, Age 6: OK – oh, and I also
want to be an international spy.
Mother: Well isn’t that nice. (Mentally reviews toys currently in the house
for ones that may need to be relocated)
Child, Age 10: Mom? How much schooling do I need to be a
barrister?
Mother: That’s in England, sweetie:
if you want to be a lawyer here, then you have to go to law school after
college.
Child, Age 10: Oh. How about if I want to be a lion tamer?
Mother: I believe that’s a mix
between being a part of the family business and on-the-job training.
Child, Age 10: Oh. I think I want to be a politician.
Mother: If you want, but be prepared
to have half your constituents hate you and the other half asking you for
favors all the time.
Child, Age 10: Cool.
Child, Age 18: Dad, do you know who
I should contact if I want to work for a newspaper after college?
Father: That’s great – I think
I know a few people, and I’m sure your school’s career center
can help with an internship.
Interested in being a reporter, eh?
Child, Age 18: I actually want one
day to be in charge of the Obituaries. I
find all those stories absolutely fascinating.
Father: …OK.
Father: So, how’s life in the obits?
Child, Age 20: Kind of limiting,
really. They have me also doing features
on local restaurants and community carnivals, and the whole thing day in, day out, week in, week out,
and on and on is getting a bit repetitive.
I don’t think I can stay in this business for the next half-century, if I
even last that long.
Father: Have you been looking into
anything else, then? What about your
goals way-back when of being a lawyer, or a doctor? Or a ballet dancer?
Child, Age 20: Dad, I haven’t wanted
to be a ballet dancer since I was a kid!
Father: And what are you now?
Child, Age 20: Dad! But seriously, I don’t know, maybe I’ll try
doing the doctor thing.
Father: “Try”??
Child, Age 22: So Mom, hate to have
to tell you this, but I decided to take some courses to be a CPA now.
Mother: Your major was English.
Child, Age 22: Yeah, but that can translate
into almost any career – that’s the beauty of it.
Mother: If that’s what you really
want. You do realize that this round of
schooling’s on you, yes?
Child, Age 22: Huh? I mean, yeah, I knew that.
Child, Age 30: Mom, Dad: I wanted to
let you know that I can’t stand being a paralegal anymore and I decided to go
back to school to become a physician’s assistant. Or a nurse practitioner – you know,
whichever.
Mother: That’s great, hon, but are you
sure you want to change careers so drastically?
It’s a lot more schooling, and what if you wind up not liking it?
Father: Or you’re just no good at
it? (Mother lightly smacks him)
Child, Age 30: I’m sure it’ll all be
worth it. I’ve always wanted to help
people, and I know I’ll never be able to do the whole doctor bit so I figured
this would be the next best thing.
Mother: It’s going to be a lot of
work and dedication, though, plus malpractice insurance – what if you get sued?
–
Child, Age 30: But Mom, it’s such a noble
profession!
Child, Age 35: So, I think me
wanting to be a P.A. was a bit of a mistake.
Mother: How’s that, dear?
Child, Age 35: Turns out that, try
as I might, I really don’t like people that much, and I’m really not that good
at medicine. Or math. Or stressful situations. Or life.
Father: All right, you’ve figured
that out, now what?
Child, Age 35: I think I’ll go join
the Peace Corps, or some other worthwhile cause. Maybe then I’ll feel fulfilled.
Mother: What about going back to
journalism, hm?
Child, Age 35: I guess, if I wanted
to kill my soul!
Mother: Don’t be dramatic; you have
to do something with your life, though.
Child, Age 35: I know, you’re
right. It’s the whole paradox of choice that’s
getting me down, is all.
Father: I can solve that for you by
enlisting you in the reserves.
Child, Age 35: That would be
something. Yes, I think that will do
nicely –
Father: Thank goodness.
Child, Age 35: – for now.
