(Co-Worker 1 sees Co-Worker 2 slump
onto the chair at the adjoining desk; Co-Worker 2 has bleary eyes, messy hair,
and an all-round dissipated look)
Co-Worker 1: Wow, you look hideous.
Co-Worker 2: I know.
Co-Worker 1: I mean it – you look
like someone literally rolled you. In
garbage.
Co-Worker 2: Thanks.
Co-Worker 1: I mean, your face
–
Co-Worker 2: I need you to shut up
now. (Holds head while taking five aspirin)
(Co-Worker 1 tries to go back to
work, then turns to face Co-Worker 2 again)
Co-Worker 1: All right, spill it:
did you go on an actual binge this weekend?
Co-Worker 2: (Lying head on desk) Of
sorts.
Co-Worker 1: I knew it! You always say you don’t drink, but this
place drives everyone to it – I knew it was only a matter of time – I
had a bet going with –
Co-Worker 2: It wasn’t alcohol.
Co-Worker 1: Huh? Oh.
(Peers into Co-Worker 2’s face) Ohh, now I know that look. You binge-watched something all
weekend, didn’t you. Let me guess: all
27 seasons of Sword Slash?
Co-Worker 2: Hardly.
Co-Worker 1: All 15 films of the Astro
Conflicts saga, including the animated series and the short-lived puppet
show?
Co-Worker 2: No! (In a small voice) I saw those when they came
out.
Co-Worker 1: (Leans in again,
conspiratorially) No one else has to know – it was Hearts Restrained by
Corsets and Honor, wasn’t it?
Co-Worker 2: Ew, no.
Co-Worker 1: All right, it’s just
that some people enjoy the writing on that show, you know. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Co-Worker 2: (Leans back in chair to
administer eye drops) Well, you’ll never guess because I didn’t binge-watch
anything; I actually binge-read.
Co-Worker 1: Binge… read? As in, a book?
Co-Worker 2: Yes. With words and everything.
Co-Worker 1: Are you taking an
English class or something?
Co-Worker 2: No; I’d always wanted
to read it, that’s all. We had the snow
this weekend, so I thought it was as good a time as any. Got a comfy blanket, got some tea, played some
soothing piano music, and… read.
Co-Worker 1: Wow. What did you read?
Co-Worker 2: All three books of The
Master of the Bangles. Although, I
don’t know if I can really count that as three separate books since they were
originally published as one large volume.
Took me from Friday night through to 3:00 this morning, with five-minute
breaks for whatever.
Co-Worker 1: You read
that? I don’t get it – why didn’t you
just watch the movies, you’d’ve been done in half a day!
Co-Worker 2: (Gives a withering
look) It’s not the same.
Co-Worker 1: It’s close enough! The filmmakers said they were very faithful
to the source material! And how’d you
even finish those things in one weekend anyway, they must have been over a
thousand pages long! Each!
Co-Worker 2: Grand total was 1,372. Including the appendices.
Co-Worker 1: Appendices! I’m not working that hard for something
that’s supposed to be entertainment!
(Sees alert on phone) Ooh, the next installment of the unauthorized Sword
Slash Encyclopedia was just released.
(Sees Co-Worker 2 staring) It’s not the same!
Co-Worker 2: Well, you binge on
whatever you want to binge on – I personally feel very fulfilled in reading
what is considered to be a classic, and my brain feels all the more enriched by
the experience.
Co-Worker 1: Whatever you say. A binge is still a binge, though, and you
feel slightly gross and ashamed afterwards no matter the material or the
medium.
Co-Worker 2: (Cradles head on arms,
leaning on the desk) At the moment, I couldn’t agree more.
Co-Worker 1: (Hesitates) Got
something lined up for next weekend?
Co-Worker 2: (Perks up) Oh yeah: The
Complete Collection of the John Houses Mysteries, Unabridged.
Co-Worker 1: Nice! Mind if I come over and binge-read those with
you?
Co-Worker 2: If you want, but you’ll
have to wait until I finish at least the first set – spoiler alert, the last
set is shorter because the author killed off the main character so he could end
the series.
Co-Worker 1: It’s not a spoiler if
it’s been published over 100 years ago.
