In
an all-things store, Shopper wandered up and down the aisles looking for one
last item to pick up so that the store’s gift card could finally be finished
off and she would never have to go there again.
At the end of the next-to-last aisle there was a small table display that
Shopper casually glanced at, then did a double-take as one of items caught her
eye. She slowly and reverently picked it
up to hold it closer to her face and read the description.
“This,”
she said after a few moments. “This.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“What is
this?” her father asked from his seat at the kitchen table, picking up the box
with neither reverence nor care.
“This,” Shopper
replied, snatching the box back, “is a chair.
An all-purpose, full-support, transport-anywhere, sit-anywhere
chair. It folds up in itself so that you
can literally tuck it into your pants pocket.
And it’s endorsed by the Army, so there you go.”
“OK, but why?”
“Because they
use it maybe?”
“No, I mean why
buy it? What do you need it for?”
“The question
you should be asking is, ‘What don’t you need it for?’”
“No, I’d rather
hear an answer to the first one.”
“All right:
everything!” She spread her arms to
encompass the world and nearly dropped the box in the process. “I mean, who knows if you’re out somewhere
and find yourself thinking, ‘If only I had a chair to sit down on, then all
would be well.’ Now, you can have one,
ready to go, AT ALL TIMES.”
“I guess, but
how often do you think you’ll find yourself in need of a chair?”
“Often enough! I’m tired of holding up the wall everywhere I
go!”
“I doubt you
need to that much.”
“Once is too
many! You don’t realize how this
seemingly innocuous impulse buy has changed my life! Observe.”
She pulled the folded-up chair out of the box, flicked it open, snapped
the supports into place, and gingerly settled onto the no-backed canvas
seat. “I’ll never have to stand again.”
“Whatever – it looks
uncomfortable.”
“It’s built for
efficiency not comfort, Dad!”
“I guess. Can I try it out, then?”
“Sure.”
She stood and
her father gingerly sat on the canvas seat.
“Huh,” he commented.
“You see?”
“It could come
in handy, I guess. I do go to a lot of
concerts – yes, I think this would do just fine for those – ”
She yanked the
chair out from under him; he stumbled but remained on his feet. Quickly folding up the chair and running
upstairs, she shouted down to him: “Get your own super-convenient previously
unknown necessity, poacher!”
He settled back
onto the kitchen chair. “Dangit, now
that I’ve seen it, I need one.”
