“So, are you giving up anything for Lent this year?”
“I take it you’re asking only to tell me what you’re giving up.”
“Yes. So, what’re you giving up this year?”
“I figured not having cookies for a month-and-a-half should do me and my blood sugar levels some good; how about – ”
“Ha! How petty, how small, how insignificant of an abstention!”
“Ew. What’s your lofty sacrifice then?”
“Smoking. All for the noble cause of personal and public health!”
“Buuuuuuuut you don’t smoke.”
“And I especially won’t for a month-and-a-half.”
“Cheat.”
* * * * * * * * * *
“What’re you giving up for Lent this year?”
“Oh, you know, I haven’t decided yet? Last year I tried giving up those specialty drinks that I’d get from the drive-through, but then I found myself sneaking in stuff from the supermarket that were pretty much the same thing, so I feel like I’m just setting myself up for failure in this whole scenario, but maybe I’ll give up bubblegum this time instead, what about you?”
“Figured I’d give up late-night TV shows and actually go to bed at a decent hour.”
“I thought that was your New Year’s Resolution?”
“Eh, close enough to New Year’s, right?”
* * * * * * * * * *
“Giving up anything for Lent this year?”
“I give up enough in my daily life! I work two jobs taking care of sick people and then go home to take care of dependent children and their pets – I think I’ve sacrificed enough in my life that I can get a pass on Lent, don’t you agree?!”
“Yes, I’d say so.”
“As I thought! So, what’re you giving up?”
“Popcorn.”
“Well done.”
* * * * * * * * * *
“Hey, so are you giving up anything for Lent this year?”
“Yeah, &@#*ing swearing.”
“Let me know how that turns out.”
“&@#* yeah!”
* * * * * * * * * *
“Just wanted to let you know that I’m giving up dealing with jerks for Lent.”
“Oh, OK; good for you!”
“Thanks. So, see you after Easter.”
“…Hey!”
* * * * * * * * * *
“I’ve got it: for Lent this year, I’m giving up all that time watching movies and shows and sports and just really focus on me instead. Starting with buying myself a new car.”
“Oh. Why don’t you spend some of that extra time and money helping other people, then? That’s kind of the point.”
“I thought the point was to make myself better?”
“In a way, but this time of year the intention is also to help others – a bit more than you’re supposed to the rest of the year.
“But I still don’t see how that’s helping me!”
“Whoosh!”
“Huh?”
“There goes the point – sailing right over your head.”
