Thursday, September 1, 2022

Story 455: Ode to The [Destructive] Spotted Lanternfly

             (Poet recites while gently strumming a lyre; Chorus stands nearby at the ready)

 Poet:   Hark!  To my tale of The Spotted Lanternfly,

                         Almost as pretty as The Butterfly,

                         But with a far worse reputation.

             Chorus: Rightly so.

             Poet:    It neither bites, nor stings, nor gets in our way,

                         Yet everywhere, to my dismay,

                         Are calls for the species’ eradication.

             Chorus: They destroy crops and ruin so many trees.

             Poet:    Oh woe!  That affairs have come to this,

                         For what is, at worst, an inconvenience,

                         Genocide is deemed the only solution.

 Chorus: We’d never be able to wipe them all out; just every last one in sight is what’s needed.

 Poet:    How can we call ourselves “civilized”

             When an unaggressive insect is demonized

             And its annihilation is labelled as “duty”?

 Chorus: Crops: destroyed.  Trees: ruined.  What part of this are you not getting?

 Poet:    Will no one speak for The Spotted Lanternfly?

             Will no one fight for their right to get by?

             They are entitled to life as all others.

 Chorus: They are an invasive species that hitchhiked their way here and contribute absolutely nothing to this continent’s ecosystem.

 Poet:    Must we cause extinction yet again?

             Have we not learned our lesson?

             Can we not share this planet with –

 Chorus: There’s a swarm going through your vineyard as we speak.

 (Poet stares at Chorus, gently sets down the lyre, and picks up a flamethrower)

 Poet:    That’s it – they’re going down.

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