Story 51: I Hate the Moon

            I resent the fact that so much of our lives are dictated by the presence of a huge ball of rock caught in our planet’s gravity.  No one really knows how it got there, if it actually is a part of Earth that got knocked free after something else hit it (I’d feel better about that) or if it was wandering by and decided to set up shop here, forever.  Either way, it’s given way too much respect for the amount of damage it’s caused.

            I mean, I wonder if we’d have tides at all if that thing weren’t around pulling them in and out.  Maybe our beaches would be in that much less danger of eroding if there was one, constant, low tide.  Stupid moon!

            I can’t believe people even worship the thing.  Look at it up there, shining like some fake sun, acting all mystical.  Of course, it’s the feminine, the goddess – the trouble-maker!  Every time a lot of crazy things happen, everyone says “must be a full moon”.  Is that correlation even a true causation?!  Lunacy?!  If the moon really does drive people bonkers, then why, may I ask, has no one shot it down yet, hm?  Oh right, the whole gravity thing.  I’m sure somebody could figure out how to do it if they really wanted to, though.

            And why, would someone tell me, is the moon (the moon, mind you, the only one we Earthlings care about) so special that it gets its own calendar?  Why isn’t the sun enough?  Everyone’s sleeping when the moon’s out, so why should I pay attention to how much of it is showing from one night to the next?  I refuse to have my religious holidays dictated by which full moon falls when.  What does it matter?  The moon doesn’t care – it just keeps spinning and orbiting – so why should I?  Wait until its orbit completely decays and it crashes into us – then that’ll be an important enough event to determine holidays, I should think.

            I also can’t believe that there have been dozens of space trips to get in the vicinity of and/or land on that thing.  Woo-hoo!  Interstellar travel was achieved and technology was advanced.  Big deal, humanity, now you just found a way to litter up yet another celestial body.  Way to go.

            Bottom line: Earth’s moon is just a natural satellite that exerts its influence on us like some creepy party crasher that never leaves.

            Although – it is pretty when it’s full, especially over water.  I think I’ll take one more photo, just to, you know, complete my collection.