Every day, the four of them met
for a few moments during their lunch half-hour.
Cigarette breaks were no longer approved and coffee breaks were
relegated to a laugh in the face, so they had to sneak their time in this
way. They would assemble for five minutes,
then separate to spend the precious remaining 25 as they chose. One of the round tables in the cafeteria fit
their needs nicely.
Worker 1: I almost got fired
again today.
Workers 2 & 3: Aw….
Worker 1: I just got another
warning instead. I think my boss is
afraid I’ll burn the shared drive if I’m let go.
Worker 3: Guess that’s a good
thing to let her think. I'll have to remember
that.
Worker 1: (To Worker 4) Why are
you so quiet?
Worker 4: I’m trying to will
myself into having an aneurysm.
Worker 2: Don’t do that! What if it doesn’t work right and you wind up
a fully conscious immobile?
Worker 4: I didn’t think of that. Thank you – you've saved me and my health proxy
a lot of trouble.
Worker 1: Are you still trying to
kill yourself?
Worker 4: No, I’m still trying to
achieve a state of oblivion: there’s a difference.
Worker 2: I don’t understand –
why would you want to be in a state of oblivion?
Worker 4: Why not? It’s not like my life has an impact on
anything. Good people drop like flies
all around me, and I’m still here taking up space – why is that?
Worker 3: Maybe you’re supposed
to do something with your life and make the world a better place.
Worker 4: Well, I’ve been here
for decades and still haven’t done any of that, so why continue consuming
dwindling resources is my theory.
Worker 1: Maybe the act of your
willing oblivion is actually deflecting onto other people and that’s
why they’re gone and you’re still here.
Worker 4: You make a good
point. My resolve remains, however.
Worker 2: I still don’t understand –
you have good health, freedoms people literally die for, the use of all your
faculties, and other blessings that people pray every day they would have and never
receive, and you want just to toss all that away. You are the biggest ingrate I have ever met
in my entire life!
Worker 4: And yet another reason why
my blessings should be distributed to people who’ll do some good with them.
Worker 1: (Looks at watch) This
is the first time I’m glad our time’s up.
Same time tomorrow, then?
Workers 2-4: Sure, sure.
Worker 4: (As they scatter)
Suppose I should hold off on the willing for a little while longer – I forgot
my show’s series finale isn’t on for another two weeks.
Worker 2: Yes, that’s a worthy
goal in life. Would you do us all a
favor and volunteer at a soup kitchen, please?
Worker 4: All right, but only if it'll make you happy.
very good, as usual
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