(Associate
escorts Client into the office and they sit at opposite sides of a desk)
Associate:
So, as I mentioned on the phone, we were most taken with your application
essay.
Client:
Thank you; I put a lot of thought into it.
Associate:
Yes, well, as you know, this is a life-changing process that cannot be entered
into lightly, so we very carefully select only those who demonstrate both a
great need and a complete understanding of what this involves.
Client:
I agree entirely.
Associate:
And that’s where we come to the interview portion of this program; it shouldn’t
take too long.
Client:
That’s all right, I’ve got nowhere to go.
Associate:
Hm. (Looks at a printed list of
questions) Your essay covered a lot of these, so I’ll skip ahead a bit… ah,
here: You received the manual detailing the medical process of reversing your
puberty, which basically means that your hypothalamus will be tinkered with and
the appropriate glands and organs will be removed or revert to their
pre-adolescent state. We have perfected
the technique so you will not develop the unwanted symptoms that come with
Kallmann Syndrome and the like, and you will retain your current height and
muscle mass; however, in certain respects, you basically will have the body of
a child. Are you completely prepared to
accept all the possible consequences, real or imagined, that will result from
this traumatic procedure?
Client:
I most certainly am. At this point in my
life I don’t intend on having any children of my own, and none of this
(Gestures across her body) is doing me any good, know what I mean?
Associate:
(Writes notes) Please don’t make me answer that. Now, another side effect of the process will
be to considerably lower your levels of aggression due to the complete lack of both
estrogen and testosterone in your body.
Are you currently in a home, work, and/or social situation where that
would be a problem?
Client:
Quite the opposite, actually: I’ve been told that I have “anger issues,” so
this should be a relief to us all.
Associate:
Hm. (Writes more notes) Standard
confirmation: Did you sign the attestation that undergoing this procedure will not,
in fact, return you to your own childhood where all was bliss and nothing bad
ever happened?
Client:
Yes; don’t worry, I know this isn’t a time machine.
(They
both laugh, then abruptly cease and stare at their hands)
Associate:
Um, let’s see. Do you understand that fundamentally
changing your body chemistry also does not release you from any debts or
contractual obligations that you currently possess?
Client:
Sadly yes. They’ll be a bit confused the
next time they see me, but they’ll still want my money. I actually have a question.
Associate:
Oh? Yes?
Client:
It’s a little embarrassing, but will this also get rid of, you know… (Waves her
hand at her face)
Associate:
Your… nose?
Client:
No! You know – unwanted body hair.
Associate:
Oh, good heavens, yes. At least it
should; you might want to avoid ingesting certain types of milk and meat to make
sure.
Client:
Oh.
Associate:
You also didn’t mention if acne was a problem, but that too should go by the
wayside.
Client:
Yes! I try not to think about it anymore;
you probably don’t have to worry about anything like that, but it’s so
irritating that I still have to deal with it at my age.
Associate:
I have an inkling. (Scratches her back) Right, we’ve come to the last question: Once
you have completed the reversal, do you intend to spend the rest of your days
convincing your family, friends, and/or total strangers to undergo the same
process?
Client:
Heck no! Let them figure it out for
themselves if they want.
Associate:
(Writes more notes) Perfect. (They both stand
and shake hands) Well, that’s all for now.
I have to submit these for review, but judging by your answers I can say
with confidence that you should be reverted to pre-pubescence in a very short
time indeed; congratulations.
Client:
Thank you so much! It’ll be such a
relief – you have no idea how puberty ruined my life.
Associate:
I think most people would agree.
