Thursday, July 6, 2017

Story 193: Reverse Puberty

            (Associate escorts Client into the office and they sit at opposite sides of a desk)
            Associate: So, as I mentioned on the phone, we were most taken with your application essay.
            Client: Thank you; I put a lot of thought into it.
           Associate: Yes, well, as you know, this is a life-changing process that cannot be entered into lightly, so we very carefully select only those who demonstrate both a great need and a complete understanding of what this involves.
            Client: I agree entirely.
            Associate: And that’s where we come to the interview portion of this program; it shouldn’t take too long.
            Client: That’s all right, I’ve got nowhere to go.
            Associate: Hm.  (Looks at a printed list of questions) Your essay covered a lot of these, so I’ll skip ahead a bit… ah, here: You received the manual detailing the medical process of reversing your puberty, which basically means that your hypothalamus will be tinkered with and the appropriate glands and organs will be removed or revert to their pre-adolescent state.  We have perfected the technique so you will not develop the unwanted symptoms that come with Kallmann Syndrome and the like, and you will retain your current height and muscle mass; however, in certain respects, you basically will have the body of a child.  Are you completely prepared to accept all the possible consequences, real or imagined, that will result from this traumatic procedure?
            Client: I most certainly am.  At this point in my life I don’t intend on having any children of my own, and none of this (Gestures across her body) is doing me any good, know what I mean?
            Associate: (Writes notes) Please don’t make me answer that.  Now, another side effect of the process will be to considerably lower your levels of aggression due to the complete lack of both estrogen and testosterone in your body.  Are you currently in a home, work, and/or social situation where that would be a problem?
            Client: Quite the opposite, actually: I’ve been told that I have “anger issues,” so this should be a relief to us all.
            Associate: Hm.  (Writes more notes) Standard confirmation: Did you sign the attestation that undergoing this procedure will not, in fact, return you to your own childhood where all was bliss and nothing bad ever happened?
            Client: Yes; don’t worry, I know this isn’t a time machine.
            (They both laugh, then abruptly cease and stare at their hands)
          Associate: Um, let’s see.  Do you understand that fundamentally changing your body chemistry also does not release you from any debts or contractual obligations that you currently possess?
            Client: Sadly yes.  They’ll be a bit confused the next time they see me, but they’ll still want my money.  I actually have a question.
            Associate: Oh?  Yes?
           Client: It’s a little embarrassing, but will this also get rid of, you know… (Waves her hand at her face)
            Associate: Your… nose?
            Client: No!  You know – unwanted body hair.
           Associate: Oh, good heavens, yes.  At least it should; you might want to avoid ingesting certain types of milk and meat to make sure.
            Client: Oh.
          Associate: You also didn’t mention if acne was a problem, but that too should go by the wayside.
          Client: Yes!  I try not to think about it anymore; you probably don’t have to worry about anything like that, but it’s so irritating that I still have to deal with it at my age.
           Associate: I have an inkling.  (Scratches her back)  Right, we’ve come to the last question: Once you have completed the reversal, do you intend to spend the rest of your days convincing your family, friends, and/or total strangers to undergo the same process?
            Client: Heck no!  Let them figure it out for themselves if they want.
            Associate: (Writes more notes) Perfect.  (They both stand and shake hands) Well, that’s all for now.  I have to submit these for review, but judging by your answers I can say with confidence that you should be reverted to pre-pubescence in a very short time indeed; congratulations.
            Client: Thank you so much!  It’ll be such a relief – you have no idea how puberty ruined my life.
            Associate: I think most people would agree.

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