Friday, March 24, 2017

Story 178: Faux Snow Day


“I heard we’re getting a nor`easter next week.”
“Baloney.  It’s almost April, winter’s over, and you know we don’t get snow anymore.”
“We do too get snow – we had those flurries in January!”
“Mm-hm.  And for the past two years we’ve gotten rain, chilly, chilly rain, and it makes me sad.”
“Well you should be overjoyed on Tuesday – they say it’s gonna be a whopper!”
“They say, indeed.  I’ll believe it when I see it.  They try their best, but they’re basically trying to predict the future: can’t be done with any sort of satisfactory accuracy.”


            “Look at that!  They’re saying we’re supposed to get 18 inches!”
            “There you go with ‘they’ again.”
           “Weather changes from second to second; there’s no way to know what it’s going to do an hour from now, let alone next week.  And it’s 60° outside, for crying out loud!”
            “That’ll just make it all the worse when the storm arrives.  I can’t wait!”
            “Snow is the only type of bad weather most people embrace like a long-lost friend, you ever notice that?  You don’t even play in it anymore!”
            “It’s `cause we’ll probably get a day off from work!  And it’s so pretty.”
            “It’s freezing, it’s hazardous, and it’s a pain in the neck cleaning off and around the car.  And I’m a nurse, so not all of us will get a day off from work, I’ll have you know.”
            “Hey, you knew what you were signing up for with that.”


            “Two feet!  It could get up to two feet now!  I’m not leaving the house for a week!”
         “I have to sleep overnight at the hospital so I’ll be there for the trapped patients in the morning.”
            “I’d say so if it weren’t sunny, mild, and virtually cloudless right now.”
            “It’s not supposed to start until after midnight.”
            “Somebody should tell the poor robins hopping around here as if it were May Day.”
            “Well, I have my sled on standby for when the streets are all covered.  I already called out of work for tomorrow.”
            “Excuse me while I run errands in the glaring sun and turn on the air conditioning.”


            “I don’t believe it!  Two feet of RAIN!!  This is so unfair – I was going to go ice skating on the frozen lawn, and it’s all wet grass instead!  And I used a vacation day for nothing!”
            “So what’s their story?”
            “Them.  They.  The ones who called for tons of the white stuff.”
            “Oh.  They said it got too warm and this is all we’re getting.  No fair, I say!  By the way, how was it sleeping overnight at work and then nothing happening?”
            “Boring.  At least nothing froze and we all have electricity.”
            “Yeah, might as well salvage some of this day and go see a movie.”
            “You do that.”


            “I don’t believe it!  A second nor`easter and we did get two feet of snow!  And nobody was ready for it!  What a mess!”
            “Yeah, what happened there?  Those theys only mentioned the one storm, where’d this come from?”
            “They were so focused on the first one that nobody was really paying attention to the other – they thought it’d be a dud.  I’m so happy, squee!”
            “At least this is my day off and I don’t have to go anywhere.  Think I’ll take a nap.”
           “You’re no fun.  This is our first real snow in two years, and you’re going to sleep through it?!  Where’s your sense of excitement, of adventure, of joy, of youth?”
            “My inner child has gotten extremely tired over the years.”


  1. I like how the weathermen, etc. are always called "they". Good call on how not everyone is accurate and, it is always better to just "go with the flow".