Everywhere
I go, I am surrounded by insolence.
No
one respects my authority; no one fears my wrath. I demand to be served as is my right and
their duty, yet they have the unmitigated gall to laugh in my face. Actually, they laugh down at my face since
they are two feet taller and decades older than I am.
“Tell
me a story!” My demands are reasonable,
I would like to think.
“Not
now – finish what’s on your plate,” is the typical response. Since I am in constant hunger, I acquiesce
simply for survival and most assuredly not to please their whims.
“Listen
to me!” Why must I constantly demand to
be heard? Aside from the fact that I
have far more interesting things to say than whatever it is they are always
prattling on about, I should not face a struggle for their attention every time
I would like to speak. Do they know not
who I am?!
“What
is it?”
“Umm…
you’re pretty.” The trauma of that
ordeal completely drove away the important matter that I was about to
communicate, and I am forced to spew out drivel in an attempt to overcome my
humiliation. Oh, the indignities I
must always endure! What trials I have
suffered during the long five years of my reign!
“Play with me!”
I instruct my people. They are
here for my amusement, are they not?
“We’re
in the middle of bailing out the basement, honey, you can start without
us.” Is there no end to their
defiance? I will not be ignored by my
own subjects!
“What
did you do?!” They impotently rage as
they behold what I hath wrought. My
artwork is sublime and brightens up the otherwise drab walls of my palace.
“Crayons!” I graciously hold up my instruments as an
explanation they neither deserve nor appreciate. I then find myself escorted to my chambers in
what they claim is punishment – the nerve of these peasants! You cannot punish your leader! The mere notion is absurd. However, since I appear to be deserted by any
sort of army that could fight on my behalf, I am left at the mercy of my serfs. Very well: I will simply withhold affection
from them at bedtime.
That’ll
show them who’s in charge around here.
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