So I’m in
the theater on the opening weekend of the latest sci-fi blockbuster and I’m
watching the space battle, and there’s lasers firing and spaceships swooping
and pilots making grunting faces as they fly and shoot their cannons and the
one ship is chasing another through an exploding star, and it’s all very
busy. And about halfway through this, I
start thinking:
Wait a
minute – if the heroine is from the main characters’ future, how come she
doesn’t remember who wins this?
Since the
bad guys control all means of production in the galaxy, where did the good guys
get all their ships `n stuff? Did they
have to steal it? Would that make them
bad?
Is that
brooding pilot going to turn traitor in the Second Act? He has the tragic backstory for it.
Why does
the actor who plays The Regent have top billing when we’re an hour into the
movie and he’s barely been on screen? Is
it because he hasn’t been in a movie for 10 years?
If space
is a vacuum, how come we can see the lasers and hear the explosions?
If space
is a vacuum, how come that guy didn’t explode when he was kicked off the ship
without a pressurized suit? It would
have been disgusting, but accurate.
Why did I
get charged the evening price for my ticket when the show started at 4:00?
Did I leave
the dryer on when I left the house?
How much
time did it take to create all those effects shots?
How much
money did this sequence cost, and will the money the movie earns make up for
the expense?
Do the
people working on the film get paid no matter what, even if it bombs? If it doesn’t make a profit, does anyone have
to give back the difference to the producers?
How long
do you have to be in the industry before you can ask for a share in the
profits? Is that only for the “creative
talent”, or can someone like the set carpenter ask for that?
Is
time real, or is it only a human construct?
That was
when I realized that a whole lot of nothing was happening on the screen, and I
felt a little sorry for everyone involved in making something so frenetic so boring.
That CG
supernova is very pretty, though.
good point. doesn't say much for my attention span. it seems most movies are like this--mind-numbing
ReplyDeleteThanks! You can probably guess the movie where I started thinking about this (it wasn't bad, just the action sequences didn't engage me as they should).
ReplyDelete