Thursday, March 8, 2018

Story 228: I Don’t Have to Argue Anymore



            Friends of convenience while at work, the two employees were eating lunch in the cafeteria when Co-Worker 1’s manager swung by.
            “Hey, hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Manager said just as Co-Worker 1 had taken a big bite out of a sandwich.  “Just wanted to let you know, that budget report due tomorrow morning?”
            “Mm-hm?”
            “Yeah, you really should re-do your section, make it a little more… presentable, if you will.  I know it’s last minute and you’ll probably have to stay late to finish it, but it’s gotta be done, `K?”
            “Mm-hm.”
            “Great, see you later.”
            Co-Worker 2 stared at Co-Worker 1, who had resumed eating the sandwich.
            “What?”  Co-Worker 1 asked between bites.
            “Just like that?”  Co-Worker 2 counter-asked.
            “Hm?”
           “You just got a boatload of probably unnecessary extra work dumped on you during your lunch break, and you’re not even upset about it?  And you didn’t even argue about how unnecessarily extra it probably is, because it’s extremely unlikely anyone’s going to notice how presentable that thing is or not?”
            “Nah – what’s the point?”  Co-Worker 1 dug into a chocolate pudding with glee.  “It would only sound like I’m whining, I’d be accused of slacking off and making our department look bad, and I’d still get stuck with doing it.”
            “Yeah, but, the principle of the thing!”
            “I used to think as you do,” Co-Worker 1 said, contemplating the spoon.  “I used to argue about the unfairness of it all, when middle management just didn’t seem to get what I was doing, or people in general were just the worst, until that magical day when I finally understood how ineffective that tactic is, and now I don’t have to argue anymore.  I’ve found a much better method of dealing with unpleasantness.”
            “Oh?”
            “Mm-hm: ‘yes’ them to death, then go ahead and do whatever I was going to do anyway.”
            Co-Worker 2 thought this over: “Isn’t that lying?”
           “Not really.  I usually say ‘OK’ as an acknowledgement of what they’ve said.  ‘Yes, I hear what you’re saying’ is all I am conveying, and I continue on as I was before.”
            “Yeah, but it sounds like you’re agreeing to do what they’re saying – you have to have been called on that by now.”
            “Usually variations on the phrase ‘something else came up that took priority’ works, or ‘I looked it over and saw that the original format was more cost-effective,’ or whatever the case may be.  If none else applies, I just say ‘sorry’ with the blatant undertone that I am not but there’s nothing they can do about it without calling me a liar, which no one ever wants to accuse anyone of being unless they’re willing to venture past the societal point of no return.”
            “All right, but are any of those really going to work this time?  I mean, this is your boss telling you to work late; I don’t think other priorities or ‘sorry’ is going to cut it.”
            “You’re absolutely right, so this situation calls for the one-use only ‘I forgot.’  I’ve been saving it for an occasion such as this, because it very easily can be overplayed.”
            “Wow.  This actually sounds like a better way to get along in… everything.  Mind if I borrow it?  I feel like I’ve been arguing with everybody lately because they want me to do stupid stuff that they’re too lazy to do themselves.”
            “By all means – let me know how it works out.”
           That afternoon, Co-Worker 2 was in the middle of a conference call when Co-Worker 3 swung by.
            “Hey,” Co-Worker 3 began; Co-Worker 2 turned off the telephone’s mic so the others on the call would not hear the inevitable shouting.  “So, just wanted to say that I’d appreciate it if you sent your daily e-mails to me first, about half an hour before sending them to everyone else, just so, you know, I get to see them before everyone else.  `K?”
         Co-Worker 2’s first instinct was to detail all the reasons why this was redundant, an unnecessary delay of the information being distributed, of no value to anyone except Co-Worker 3’s ego, and, most importantly, that Co-Worker 3 was not Co-Worker 2’s boss and therefore should not be telling Co-Worker 2 what to do; however, Co-Worker 2 instead said “Mm-hm” and pointedly turned on the phone’s mic while turning slightly away from Co-Worker 3.
            “Great,” Co-Worker 3 whispered, then slunk off saying “Byyyyeeee…”
            After the conference call ended, Co-Worker 2 dialed Co-Worker 1’s extension and relayed what had just happened.
            “And?” Co-Worker 1 asked.
           “You may be on to something.  We’ll see what happens when I keep sending the e-mails to everyone like I normally do.  Maybe I should tell my manager about it?”
          “Only as a last resort – if you escalate this, it’ll just prove that you’re deliberately defying.  This way, the upstart instead has to deal with recurring passive aggression, and most people can’t.”
            “Good point.  I wonder if this also works if someone tries to pick a fist fight?”
            “Hopefully you’ll never have to find out, but it should at least take the wind out of their sails.”

4 comments:

  1. HAHA very good. Been there, done that, works like a charm.


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    Replies
    1. Thanks! It unfortunately works more often than not, since my first instinct is to stand for the principle :-).

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  2. Very cool, dear.

    'the more you shall honor Me,
    the more I shall bless you'
    -the Infant Jesus of Prague

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