Thursday, February 8, 2018

Story 224: I Forgot to Wear Red Today


            “Don’t forget to wear red tomorrow.”
            “What’s tomorrow again?”
            “It’s Heart Health Month or something, so Corporate wants us all to wear red and they’ll take a group photo.  There’ll be cookies there, too, so more people show up.”
            “Sure, OK – I should have something red-ish lying around somewhere.”

THE NEXT DAY

            “Where’s your red?”
            “Shoot, I completely forgot!  When I picked out my clothes this morning it was so cold all I wanted was this really comfy sweater.”
            “Oh well, there’s always next year.”
            “Yes, but what about the photo?”
            “There’s almost 200 people working here; I doubt anyone’ll notice you’re not there.”
            “Yeah, but… you know….”
            “You want a cookie, don’t you.”
            “Yes!  And they won’t let you take an extra one for me, I just know it!”
            “Now that’s the spirit of this whole exercise.”

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            “Psst.”
            “Huh?!  Oh, hey, why are you hanging out on top of my cubicle?”
            “You got an extra red shirt I could borrow?”
            “Heh-heh, you forgot?”
            “Clearly.”
            “Well then, I clearly wouldn’t randomly have an extra red shirt on me today, but I do have this red pen I never use that you can wear as flair.”
            “Forget it.”

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            “Hi – you got a red scarf, or tie, or hat, or some other kind of accessory that I can borrow for the photo later?”
            “Really?  How could you have forgotten about that – we got all those memos and your manager even reminded you again yesterday!”
            “I don’t know, how could you have forgotten about your New Year’s resolution of spending more time with your kids?!”
            “Wow.  That was unnecessary.”
            “I am not myself today.”
            “It’s the cookie, isn’t it.”
            “…Maybe.”

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            “Hey, would you miss those red suspenders if I appropriated them for about 10 minutes?”
            “My pants would, yes.”

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            “Oh hi, you made it!  What are you wearing?”
            “It quite obviously is a maroon blazer.”
            “Made of taped-together construction paper?”
            “I don’t need to answer to you!”
            “Actually, you technically do.”
            FLASH!
            “Boy, that was great, I feel so part of a worthy cause, lives have been saved today because of me, now where’s the cookie set-up?”
            “Didn’t you get the e-mail earlier?  Corporate thought it would be a bit counter-message to serve sugary snacks when we’re supposed to be promoting healthy hearts, so they scrapped that whole deal last-minute.”
            “Oh.”
            “However, they did have these car magnets all made up – ”
            “Mine!”

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