(An office. An employee is working at his desk when he suddenly realizes that his co-worker has been standing behind him off to the side and staring at him. Employee 1 sees that Employee 2 is dressed in camouflage and topped off with some tree branches)
Employee 1: What’s this?
Employee 2: You didn’t notice me right away – good.
Employee 1: Are you feeling all right?
Employee 2: I’m finally doing it, man. I’m going off The Grid.
Employee 1: Why in the world would you want to do that? I like The Grid – it stores all my passwords.
Employee 2: I did an Internet search on myself yesterday.
Employee 1: Hoo-boy.
Employee 2: And not only did I find entries with my name, my exact age, my town of residence, and the opportunity to find out more about myself for a fee: I then found information on people who were looking for me.
Employee 1: What? Are you a fugitive?
Employee 2: Not yet, but I saw the names, exact ages, towns of residence, and –
Employee 1: I get it.
Employee 2: – of five people were who were looking at my profile at that very moment. Why would they do that?
Employee 1: Maybe they were bored.
Employee 2: One, yes. Two, an aberration. Five? They’re coming to get me.
Employee 1: Were they all from this area?
Employee 2: Another strange factoid: they were from all over the country. They’re closing in!
Employee 1: You need to calm down – did you recognize any of the names? They might’ve been old classmates looking up everybody. Or they could be relatives – you know, we’re all related to each other if you trace humanity all the way back to the beginning.
Employee 2: …OK, that would be uncomfortable news for a lot of couples, but going back to your suggestions: I hadn’t thought of those, but they’re still disturbing. Why would a bunch of people I knew in the third grade or random relatives try to find me now? Do they want me to give them money?
Employee 1: I don’t know, why don’t you ask them?
Employee 2: Because then I’d have to give the site money! Forget it, it’s just easier to sever ties with the world completely.
Employee 1: Before you do that, make sure you send your report on to Corporate.
Employee 2: Yeah, I was hoping they’d forgotten about that. When’s it due?
Employee 1: This afternoon.
Employee 2: I didn’t even start it yet, so I do believe that now is the perfect time to drop off The Grid.